Dyspraxia

My child could be the poster child for Dyspraxia. I don't say this as a joke, but with great relief! I had a follow up appointment with the neuropsychologist to discuss Timmy's testing results, and dyspraxia is the diagnosis. I went home and googled it, and can't believe someone else didn't see this sooner. Why didn't I? Maybe because I had never heard of it before, but with the number of symptoms that he has, the neuropsych said it was an easy diagnosis, even before the testing - since he had so much previous testing and his standardized school scores were consistent over the years. So here I am, relieved that we have an answer, and beating myself up just a bit because I feel like he could have, should have, gotten help much sooner than now. I emailed all his teachers yesterday and sent them links to read about the condition (which isn't as rare as you might think). I heard back from a couple of them, and they are supportive. I am as optimistic as I was when he was diagnosed with ADHD - finally.........answers to why my child is so different, and seems to have to work so much harder than the others. This is what I found, the most applicable to Timmy are highlighted:

Dyspraxia
What it is called matters far less to the child than does the understanding and help from those around him/her. Whatever it is called, Developmental Dyspraxia causes disruptions of major proportions in the lives of those whom it afflicts and of the families and world around them.

Definition
Developmental Dyspraxia (also known as Developmental Co-ordination Disorder, and the Clumsy Child Syndrome) is a neurologically based disorder of the processes involved in praxis or the planning of movement to achieve a predetermined idea or purpose, which may affect the acquisition of new skills and the execution of those already learned. More specifically, it is a disorder of praxis, or the process of ideation (forming an idea of using a known movement to achieve a planned purpose), motor planning (planning the action needed to achieve the idea), and execution (carrying out the planned movement). Dyspraxia may affect any or all areas of development - physical, intellectual, emotional, social, language, and sensory - and may impair the normal process of learning, thus is a learning difficulty. It is not a unitary disorder (like measles or chicken pox, where all those affected share a common set of symptoms), and affects each person in different ways at different ages and stages of development, and to different degrees. It is inconsistent, in that it may affect the child one day but not the next - as if sometimes information is 'put away in the wrong drawer' - and it may affect children in different ways at different ages and developmental stages.

It is a hidden handicap as, under normal circumstances, children with Dyspraxia may appear no different from their peers, until new skills are tried or known ones taken out of context, when difficulties may become apparent. In many affected children, Dyspraxia occurs with or as part of other neurological conditions ( in his case, ADHD and Sensory Integration Disorder) so that defining common symptoms may be confusing.
Moves Awkwardly
• constantly bumping into objects and falling
• associated mirror movements, hands flap when running or jumping
Poor Fine Motor Skills
• pencil grip
• use of scissors
• immature drawings
Laterality Still not Established
• problems crossing mid line
• children often referred to speech therapist
Sensitive to Sensory Stimulation
• high levels of noise
Limited Concentration
• tasks often left unfinished"


• • Poor posture and fatigue. Difficulty in standing for a long time as a result of weak muscle tone. Floppy, unstable round the joints. Some people with dyspraxia may have flat feet
• • Poor integration of the two sides of the body. Difficulty with some sports involving jumping and cycling
• • Poor hand-eye co-ordination. Difficulty with team sports especially those which involve catching a ball and batting. Difficulties with driving a car (my chauffeur days are far from over)
• • Lack of rhythm when dancing, doing aerobics
• • Clumsy gait and movement. Difficulty changing direction, stopping and starting actions
• • Exaggerated 'accessory movements' such as flapping arms when running
• • Tendency to fall, trip, bump into things and people
• Fine motor co-ordination skills (small movements):
• • Lack of manual dexterity. Poor at two-handed tasks, causing problems with using cutlery, cleaning, cooking, ironing, craft work, playing musical instruments
• • Poor manipulative skills. Difficulty with typing, handwriting and drawing. May have a poor pen grip, press too hard when writing and have difficulty when writing along a line
• Inadequate grasp. Difficulty using tools and domestic implements, locks and keys
• Difficulty with dressing and grooming activities, such as putting on makeup, shaving, doing hair, fastening clothes and tying shoelaces
Poorly established hand dominance:
• May use either hand for different tasks at different times

Learning, thought and memory:
• Difficulty in planning and organizing thought
• Poor memory, especially short-term memory. May forget and lose things
• Unfocused and erratic. Can be messy and cluttered
• Poor sequencing causes problems with math, reading and spelling and writing reports at work
• Accuracy problems. Difficulty with copying sounds, writing, movements, proofreading
• Difficulty in following instructions, especially more than one at a time
• Difficulty with concentration. May be easily distracted
• May do only one thing at a time properly, though may try to do many things at once
• Slow to finish a task. May daydream and wander about aimlessly
Emotion and behavior:
• Difficulty in listening to people, especially in large groups. Can be tactless, interrupt frequently. Problems with team work
• Slow to adapt to new or unpredictable situations. Sometimes avoids them altogether
• Impulsive. Tendency to be easily frustrated, wanting immediate gratification
• Tendency to be erratic have 'good and bad days'
• Tendency to opt out of things that are too difficult
Emotions as a result of difficulties experienced:
• Tend to get stressed, depressed and anxious easily
• May have difficulty sleeping
• Prone to low self-esteem, emotional outbursts, phobias, fears, obsessions, compulsions and addictive behavior

"The frustration of having the answers in your head but not being able to get them down on paper must be enormous, but for most children all that is needed is an understanding of the problem and extra time in exams, perhaps the assistance of a reader or the use of a computer. Without those, they are at a huge disadvantage."

Side note: Spell check doesn't recognize the word "dyspraxia". There is currently more information and support in the UK - It is my hope that this condition will become better known so that the other "Timmy's" out there can get the help they need, and not have to wait as long as he has for someone to understand.

A Tale of Two Brothers

Mick is taking dance classes once a week. I spent almost 30 minutes in the aisle of the local grocery store last Thursday night, listening to his dance teacher sing his praises. Sunday afternoon, as I was getting my hair cut, his school speech therapist
approached me, and told me about the most recent lesson they had, and about how much he is learning, and how well he is doing. We saw this same teacher one summer Sunday at mass, and she picked him up and gushed over him with tears in her eyes. She later confided to me that at that time, she wasn’t sure if she was going to be reassigned to a different school this year, and that she missed him already! It amazes me to see him at school. He walks down the hallways like he’s the mayor, waving to everyone, and EVERYONE knows who he is! In fact, he gets off the bus from school most days, completely full of himself. I admire his confidence, and he is so darn cute. I will say that the bus monitor was not so charmed this afternoon when he grinned, rubbed his hands together, and then smacked her on the butt. I am hoping that will be an isolated incident.

I just finished dropping Timmy off at school after a second visit to a neuro-psychologist in Springfield, who Timmy's psychiatrist recommended evaluate Timmy. This Dr has concluded that Timmy definitely meets the criteria for development and supplementation of an Individualized Education Plan. He said that not receiving accommodations could be the difference in 300 points when he takes his SATs in HS, and that he clearly is struggling, especially in math and written expression. After multitudes and years’ worth of testing by his schools and various professionals, I am hopeful that he will FINALLY get the help he needs. It just frustrates the heck out of me that it has taken this long for someone to realize that he needs help. He truly does not like school, and while his attitude is better this year than it was last year (before the Zoloft), school is still a huge struggle for him. If I don’t look up his homework and practically stand over him as he does it, it just does not get done. Or it gets lost. Or he forgets the assignment. When he has a project to do, I have to set aside a big chunk of time to help him with it. He’s content doing the very bare minimum to get by. And less. I worry that I am enabling him with all this oversight, but I also know that failing his classes will only make him hate school all the more. And the truth is, I still don't know what his "best" is.


So here I have a child with a visible disability – Down Syndrome. He is loved by all and given the help he needs at school without question. He is accepted exactly the way he is – and guided with love and patience. He is constantly being encouraged to fulfill his potential, and he is HAPPY! Then I have a son who looks like most other 13 year old boys. He has no visible disabilities, and very little self-confidence. School is not a happy place for him – he has trouble making friends, and his teachers have historically been unable to understand “what’s wrong” with him, attributing his poor work to laziness, disinterest, or lack of self discipline. He’s been tested for learning disabilities since he was 8. The results have been consistent, but nothing until now that could be labeled as severe or enough to qualify him for special ed. And so, he has spent so much time worrying about school, and trying to keep up, and wondering why he isn’t “as smart as everyone else”. So much time wasted. Tomorrow, I have an appt with the neuro-psych doc to discuss his findings.

Sometimes I think it’s easier if your disability shows on the outside. Maybe it has to do with expectations, or perceived aptitude. I don’t know. But I have often thought if I could give Timmy ½ of Mick’s extra 21st chromosome, things might be better for him.

A thought......

I think far worse than the inability to handle the truth, is the inability to recognize the truth.

To New Orleans

My husband and oldest daughter are on their way to New Orleans, where she will be working for Habitat for Humanity. She has been home for just a little under one month, since graduating from her year with Americorps NCCC. Her new job will be for 10-12 months, and she will earn an additional education award, finishing with almost $10,000. for college. We are so proud of her! Mostly because she is taking the initiative, the "road less traveled" and doing something good for others. It is demanding work, the pay is minimal, but those things don't matter much when you are 19 and idealistic! She is getting a clearer idea of what she wants to pursue afterwards, and it is all good.

When we were discussing her trip to her new job, my husband and I agreed that one of us should accompany her down there. We bought her a used car, and she is still a relatively new driver, and it is 17 hours away. I loved the idea of driving with her, and having that time alone with just her (a rarity in a big family!). She has matured so much this year, and it is exciting to hear about her adventures, and to have some insight into how she views the world. It is still hard to believe that she is on her own. Wasn't she just a curly headed 2 year old who knew all the "Bob" jokes? When my husband was able to coordinate his schedule so that he would have the next two days off, he said that he would be the one driving with her. When I told Katie this, she said, "Why doesn't he stay home with the kids so you can come? Just tell him you want to come!" I explained to her that he is the better choice in case there was a problem with the car, and that she'd be safer with him, too. I also knew that he would be out of his mind worrying about our safety if he was staying at home. She told me that nothing would happen to us, and that I should just "Tell him not to worry." I was flattered that she wanted me to accompany her, especially since she has a better relationship with him than she does with me, but I told her that he knows what is best, and that in a marriage, sometimes you have to concede to your spouse, even if you don't necessarily agree. She said something to the effect of, " That won't happen in any marriage I'm in!" Which made me laugh.

One of the things that I love best about my husband is that he puts his family first. And he takes care of his girls (including me). I don't mean to imply that we can't take care of ourselves, or that we are weak helpless females. Just that he feels and acts on his responsibilty to be the head of the house, the protector and defender of his family. So much like my dad was that way. I have known him for 25 years now. He is the most honorable man I know. I have never questioned his devotion to me or our marriage or our family. And when you have that, it's no big sacrifice to let your spouse take the lead, or have the last word. Trying to explain that to a 19 year old is challenging. My hope is that one day, she and my other girls will find men who are even 1/2 as devoted as their dad is to me, and to us. If they are that lucky, they will be happy!

Just DON'T Do It!

I have teenagers. Two boys and two girls. I try to keep a regular, open dialog with them about delicate matters. Most of the time, they don't say much, and I talk on and on and on. I am pretty sure what they hear is "Sex.......blah blah blah blah blah." It is my hope that some of the words I say are being filed away in the back of their minds for future reference. We live in a society which promotes promiscuity, and it is hard to have the TV on without dozens of sexual references thrown at you during the course of a single "family" show. Commercials are no better. I sometimes laugh when I imagine what my father's reaction would be to all the viagra type commercials that are on, if he were still alive. No one is shocked by any of this anymore! I know why my friends don't have cable! I would cancel our cable this minute if I could get my husband to agree. And it isn't so much that I want to shelter my kids from the real world, I just don't want them to grow up accepting the world's view of sexuality. And when it's shoved in your face at every opportunity, it is hard to ignore.

The way I try to explain it to my kids is that sexuality is all a huge part of God's grand plan. Those who don't believe in God would surely disagree, but to me, it could not be more obvious. When sex is saved for a marital relationship, it is a wonderful, beautiful, grace-giving act. There is a reason that we are supposed to "save ourselves" for marriage. It is the greatest gift you can give to someone else, an intimacy that there is no substitute for. When you take God out of the picture, often times, sex is just recreation and exercise. It is so easy to feel used and abused by someone who is just looking to score. So much heartache and ugliness can come from sex outside of marriage. Sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancy are not the least of them. I tell my kids that every child deserves to have a mother and father who are committed to him, and committed to each other. Today, with probably more than 50% of children being born out of wedlock, that committment is not present. Then there are single parents, who may or may not be able to support a child. It is always the child who suffers.

I say this like I have all the answers. I surely do not! It is not enough to tell your kids, "Don't have sex!" They need to be watched like hawks! And not given the opportunity to be in a position where they might lose control. Group dating is always a good idea! And so is open dialog. So is knowing your kids friends and making them feel comfortable in your home, so they will want to be there instead of off in a car somewhere. And, I personally hate the mindset that "They are going to do it anyhow, so you need to provide them with birth control." As Catholics, we believe that birth control is another way of keeping God out of sex - preventing the life that might result from an act designed by Him to create life. If you are married, presumably you are committed to one another, and should be committed to any gifts that come from the love you share with your spouse. Again, I know there are those who will disagree. I also know I am fortunate to have a husband who shares my views. We are certainly swimming against the tide on this one! I have many moments when I think it would be easier to swim with the tide. But, then I wouldn't be so richly blessed. I am not so naive to think that my own children will not struggle with these issues. I hope that when they do, they will remember some of the things I've tried to share with them. A phrase I have said to each of them more than once is "I will help you up when you fall, but I will not hold your hand when you jump." I won't tell them to do or not to do one thing, but then support them if they choose to do it anyhow. And, I will pray for them to always have the wisdom to choose wisely, and for me to guide them with love.

Just Do It!

Three little words. Just Do It. I have so many ideas running around inside my head for things I would like to acomplish personally, and projects around the house. None of these things are unattainable, but I realized that one of my problems is that I feel if I can't do something perfectly, I am much less likely to attempt it at all. Oh, I'll buy the supplies and read the instructions, or I'll read the magazines, watch the videos and buy the cute workout clothes, but when it comes down to actually taking steps towards a goal, I hesitate, or I stall out halfway through. Which is frustrating, (more so for those who live with me, I'm sure) but I have no one to blame but myself! I decorated the little boys' room last year, and am pleased with the results. At the same time, I bought supplies and hatched a plan for Megan and Colleen's room : a garden/treehouse theme. The other day, my neighbor dropped off a dresser which she got from someone who was moving. It had already been stripped of paint, but the owner abandoned the project, and just wanted the dresser gone. It was the perfect size to replace Colleen's dresser, so I decided to make it a project for Colleen and me to do together. It was fun! We covered the picnic table on the deck with old sheets, and set to work. I bought a sheet of plywood to fit the back of the dresser, and new knobs. Colleen helped to nail the back on, and we painted it together. Part of me really didn't want her to paint, since she's a novice, and she has a tendency to overload her brush and slap it on. But when I saw how much fun she was having, I realized that it is her dresser, and it didn't matter if it wasn't perfect. And, I am not a perfect painter either! We'll pressure wash the extra paint of the deck later..........the important thing was, we were making progress towards the girls' room, finally! And we were having fun doing something together. It was kind of a lightbulb moment for me. FLYLADY says, "Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family". This can apply to so many areas of my life. I am using this revelation to tackle some things I've been putting off or haven't finished yet. Yes, the trim around the door would look best if the paint was stripped and sanded first, but it will still look better with another coat of paint. Will anyone besides me notice that it isn't perfectly smooth? Will anyone care? On a personal note, I cannot run a mile, but I can walk 2 miles in 20 minutes. So I am headed to the track with the kids, bearing in mind that exercise can be fun, family time, and everything I do from this point on is progress! Perfection is over-rated and maybe impossible, but progress is satisfying!

Reunion!

I just got an invite to my 25 year high school reunion. In October. 4 months to get into shape. Can I do it? I think I can!

Mistaken identity

Do you think we could keep the container of fish bait in a different location than the tub of margerine? I'm just asking.......

Makeup....with a PS

I got a call a little while ago from my neighbor across the back (the one who "enjoys" the noise my children make in the yard). She sells Mary Kay. She announced this at the luncheon, and I did mention at that time that I could certainly use some help in the makeup department. She called me and asked what my favorite MaryKay product is. I don't have a favorite, I haven't bought a lot of MaryKay (sorry Meredith!). She told me that if I could get 4 ladies (she specified "over 18" I suppose so that I wouldn't bring my four daughters at home who would most definitely not be paying customers) to come to her house Friday evening, I would get $50 in free products. So, I emailed my friends who live locally, not really expecting any of them to come at such short notice. I am not a salesperson. I tend to invite people to this sort of thing wanting to say, "Please come, if you have absolutely nothing better to do like wash your hair or vacuum". I always cringe a little when asked to host a show because I feel like it is implied that if you come you must make a purchase - and I don't like to ask my friends to spend money just so I can get something free or at a discount. I don't care what anyone says, isn't that the "right" thing to do? I know I always make a purchase - in fact I seem to always find at least a few things I "can't live without". And, I do enjoy going to home parties - I like hanging out with the ladies, sampling products, and there are definitely some products or lines that sell themselves. I am just not sure that Mary Kay is one of them - do they have a product that will take 10 years off my face? For under $5? Probably not. Is their mascara or blush, or eye makeup any better than what you can get at the Maybelline section in Walmart? I do need advice (coaching) in the application of makeup, and what colors work, and what don't. The bloom is definitely off the rose and if it comes in a bottle or a color pallette that will make the most of what I have, I suppose it's worth it. Just don't ask me to sell it to someone else!
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My friend says it best here, summing up a conversation she had with a friend who was trying to get her to start her own home-based business: "why are we always so reluctant to do direct marketing when we really believe in the product?"... I replied, " because we have all been at a tupperware, MK, Avon, basketpeople .... fill in the blank party and thought "what's the least I can spend on something I don't really want or need to support my friends goal without looking too cheap?" I, for one, don't want to put my friends in that awkward position ... it doesn't matter how many times you announce, "no pressure" with a smile. There is pressure."

I don't mean to imply that there aren't profitable businesses out there. Or good products to buy! Or wonderful salespeople who truly believe in their products! Only that when you are trying to live within a budget, you can't say yes to everything! And, that I am glad that I for one, don't have to make my living in sales........I am not good at it.

What to do?

Tim and I are scheduled to do a phone interview tomorrow with a broadcaster who has a Catholic radio talk show. He's based in North Dakota, I think. I am sure his listening audience is more or less local. I am trying to figure out how to pull this off (it's an hour long broadcast) without interruptions from the kids. Or background noise. Short of sending them all away or knocking them all out, I don't have a solution yet. Of course, having a large family is living proof of our dedication to our Catholic faith, and if I could get them to pray, sing hymns or do a Gregorian chant in the background, instead of fight, yell, or talk over each other, that would be preferable. Don't think that's going to happen. Might have to break out the duct tape. Or rent a good movie that will enthrall them all for an hour.

Lunch Bunch

I just returned from a gathering of neighborhood ladies for a potluck lunch at a house a couple of blocks from here. This lady put postcards on everyone's doors at the beginning of last week, advertising the lunch bunch as a way to get to know the neighbors better. To be honest, my first thought was, among other reasons, "We bought a house in town this time instead of moving into base housing so that we would have a little space between us and our neighbors." The fishbowl living had lost some of its appeal, the housing market was ripe, and we are getting close to retirement (maybe). But, I like the relative privacy we have here, and the big yard (despite the continuous massive cleanup of leaves) is a bonus. I know my immediate neighbors, and I am fine with that! So anyhow, as I was fixing a plate for Kiley in the kitchen, I overheard one lady saying, "this family moved in right behind us last summer. They have a lot of kids, I think, and they have a pool, and a trampoline...." At this point, I was holding my breath! She finished by saying, "It's so nice to hear childrens' voices (her kids are all grown), and they always sound like they are having so much fun!" I was glad I didn't have to duck and make a hasty retreat, as I surely would have if she had said something negative. I introduced myself, told her how many kids we have, apologized for the noise (which she insisted does not bother her), and got to know her a little bit. It was actually a very enjoyable luncheon. The dynamics of the neighborhood are varied and interesting. Since I have so much time on my hands (!) I mentioned that I have a little experience with newsletter writing, and said I would be willing to do a quarterly "e-newsletter" in which the neighbors could advertise their businesses, share recipes, tree and yard care tips, etc. The nice thing about there not being a Home Owner's Association in this neighborhood is that there aren't any rules about what could or could not be in the newsletter. I think it would be a great way to keep things local (and good advertising for babysitters, lawn care, etc.) And there would be no cost to publish it, since it would be transmitted via email, with the option for people to print it out if they wanted to. We shall see!

Shane's spelling homework...

Shane is in first grade. This is his homework tonight:

Write each word on an index card or slip of paper. Have a a parent hide your words in a room of your house. Turn off the lights in this room so it looks like night. Now find your words using a flashlight. Spell to a parent when you find and use the word in a sentence out loud.

Now, this teacher has no children of her own. Once upon a time, I would have found this assignment to be delightful and imaginative. I'd have been impressed by her ingenuity. Today, this means I have to 1) find a flashlight that works, 2) hide these words and hope the younger kids won't find them before Shane does,(because you know they will eat them or put them somewhere else) 3) find a way to fit this in after Timmy's appointment in Fredericksburg tonight, because no room in my house is dark, even with the shades pulled, before nightfall. Except the big boys' room, and he'd never find them in there!!!!!!!

Monday morning

It is Monday. I went to bed last night trying to figure out how to manage Megan's award ceremony at 9:15, Timmy's therapy appt at 1:00, Colleen's award ceremony at 1:15, Jack's pickup at 3:10, and Molly's orthodontist appt at 3:30, somehow getting back home to meet Mick's bus at 4:00. There is a bus policy that special needs kids cannot be left with anyone under the age of 18, which means that Jack or Molly, even though they are old enough to babysit him, cannot get him off the bus. This is not a new policy, apparently, but they are now cracking down so if I am not here to get him off the bus, they will drive him back to the school. I have a neighbor who can get him off the bus, but she isn't always home at 4:00. Anyhow, in the middle of the night, Colleen threw up. And Mick was up most of the night coughing. This morning Kiley woke up cranky but Colleen woke up feeling fine, and insisted she was well enough to go to school, saying she did not want to miss the award ceremony. I knew I had to keep Mick home because he was still coughing a lot. At least this eliminates the afternoon bus issue. There is a fine mist of pollen covering everything outside, and I knew that was causing Mick's asthma problem, and that it was also likely causing Kiley's runny nose and crankiness. And my itchy eyes and stuffy nose (this is important, remember, my sense of smell is not up to par). So, I gave them both Zyrtec, hoping that they would nap early so I could somehow manage to fit in everything that needed to be done (including the extra laundry from Colleen's episode). As we were leaving for Megan's ceremony, Shane's teacher called and said he is receiving two awards this afternoon - star student and most improved. His ceremony is at 2:30. We got to Megan's ceremony. I did a diaper/pull-up check in the parking lot. Mick is mid-potty training. He was fine when I checked his pull-up. We got there a little late, and missed Megan's class presentations. Darn it. We stayed so she would know we were there, and so I could at least take a picture of her with her award certificate. We sat in the chairs, and Mick coughed and coughed. Every time I patted his back, he pushed my hand away and patted it himself. I spent a lot of time helping him to blow his nose, and wiping his face. I had one wipe with me. We got up to throw it away, and Mick spotted where Megan was sitting. Before I could stop him, he ran over to her and plopped himself on her lap. She looked happy to have him there. Her friends were looking at him and smiling. At least, that's how it appeared to me. After about 5 minutes, he came back to where Kiley and I were standing and he indicated to me that he had to go potty. I rushed him to the bathroom - the closest one was the adult staff handicap accessible bathroom. He decided he wanted to use the urinal, which was drinking-fountain height. I pulled down his pants and hoisted him up, resting him on my knee so so that he could reach. Nothing was happening, so I sat him down on the potty, where he pooped! I was thrilled! Until I noticed the streak on my pant leg. The big streak. On my pant leg. I was glad I chose the black pants, not the white ones this morning! I cleaned my pants, and Mick up as best I could, while trying to keep Kiley's hands out of the urinal and the toilet. It was exhausting. When we got back to the gym, the ceremony was almost over, thank goodness. I told Megan to ask her teacher if I could take a picture of Megan outside by the tulips. While we were doing this, Megan told me that Kiley was stinky, too. I said, "What do you mean, too?" She said that Mick was poopy while he was sitting on her lap and all her friends smelled him. Delightful. God bless her, she didn't throw him off her lap or act at the time like this was bothering her. So, we took some pictures, came home, I gave Kiley and Mick lunch, Mick a nebulizer treatment, and they are both hopefully falling into a deep slumber. I cancelled Timmy's therapy appt (still doing well on the Zoloft!), so that we can still make it to Colleen's award ceremony. You know I can't go to one without attending all of them! My pants should be out of the dryer by then...........

Dang these kids! Or, these Dang kids!

I found out today that the kids (the middle ones) broke my rocking chair on Sunday, while Tim and I were out. One was sitting on it at the computer, the other two were standing on the sides of it, rocking it furiously, when one rocker snapped right off. Did they tell me about it when I got home on Sunday? No. I noticed it tonight when I was bringing something downstairs to put in the garage. I had had a conversation with a friend of mine, another mother of 9, on Sunday afternoon about having so many kids. We talked about the wear and tear everything takes, and how it is wise not to get too attached to anything in your house. This was our oldest piece of furniture. Tim bought it for me for Valentine's Day when I was pregnant with Katie. That doesn't exactly make it an antique, but it was special! So now, those kids (and the two we left in charge that day) have lost computer privileges for two weeks. Timmy (who was a neutral party) said he would try and fix it for me. I've decided I want porch rockers for Mother's Day. And Tim and I will be the only ones allowed to sit in them........

Heat melts plastic

If you are ever thinking about using a clean disposable diaper in place of a potholder to take something out of the oven, DON'T DO IT. Trust me.

What's next?!

So, just found out today that the kid who has flat feet, ADHD (or maybe not), learning "differences", and struggles with depression also has SCOLIOSIS!!!! He came home with a note from the school nurse asking that his Dr evaluate him since she noticed during the school screening that one shoulder is lower than the other. I hadn't noticed. The Dr took a look at him, ran his finger down his backbone, and said that he does have scoliosis, and showed me where his spine curves. The good news is, he said it is so slight and insignificant that nothing needs to be done, and it shouldn' t impact his growth or get worse. The Dr said, "If you, his own mother didn't notice, it is minor." Which made me think: do I not look closely enough at my kids? Should I be paying more attention? I wonder what else I am missing? Good grief.

We saw a psychiatrist a few weeks ago to evaluate Timmy's ADHD meds, and to discuss the family history of bi-polar and depression. She read the psychologist's report, and talked first to me, then to Timmy alone, and then to me alone again. She said he shows signs of depression and anxiety, but based on the report she had read and her observations while talking with him, the anxiety is the worst of the two. She concurs with the psych that he likely does not have ADHD, but that his focus problems and difficulty in school may be related to a neurological issue. She also said she didn't see signs of bi-polar, at least so far. So, we have a referral to a pediatric neurologist, who will probably be in DC or Richmond. She did put him on Zoloft for his anxiety. I went home and read up on it, and it is not recommended for adolescents except for treatement of OCD, which he does not have. But she's the doc, right? And, after a week on the Zoloft, I saw incredible changes in Timmy's mood and behavior. He has been much more positive, has gotten up on time and out the door early for school nearly every morning . He is like a different kid. When I discussed that with his psychologist, he said that he would not have recommended Zoloft with the family history of bi-polar illness, but that he is very glad that it is working for Timmy. So, at least for now, scoliosis and flat feet aside, he seems to be on a sunnier path. I am just glad to see him happier. Now we just have to keep plugging away at the school part.

Molly just came in here and asked if I was writing about her. I told her that I wasn't, and she said, "It figures". Implying that she is the lost, neglected and forgotten one! When I asked her if she would like me to write about the drama in her life, she said, "I guess not". Teenagers. God help me!

A day at the mall

I took Molly shopping at Potomac Mills yesterday. We were looking for a prom dress, but came home with some t-shirts for Jack, shorts and a shirt for Megan, and two climbing gnomes that are now on my porch. I had no strong feelings for gnomes before we were house hunting, and read in one subdivision's HOA rules that "lawn ornaments are not allowed". OK, pink flamingos, I can see. But cute little gnomes and such? I was not going to live somewhere that boycotted fairy tale creatures! And so, my realtor friend presented us with our first gnome when we moved in, and they've multiplied since then. I will say the most recent ones I bought are a little evil looking, which I didn't notice till I was hanging them up. One is positioned as if it is looking into Molly's window. We'll see how long that one lasts.........

While I was waiting for Molly to come out of the dressing room at Neiman-Marcus (this is an outlet mall, I definitely cannot afford to shop there otherwise!) , I noticed a man, about 50 years old, exiting the men's dressing room side, wearing Bermuda shorts and a polo shirt and carrying pink plaid shorts and a tank top. He was wearing black pumps with 4 inch heels and walked very gracefully back to the shoe department, where he had left his loafers, presumably. In every other way except the shoes and his gait, he looked like a typical man his age. He had obviously had practice wearing heels. Later, we got pulled in by a kiosk salesman to sample some hand cream and nail products. I'd probably have completely ignored him had he not called Molly and me sisters. Yes, I am a sucker..........He was maybe 24 years old, and had long, shiny fingernails, which he told me are from using the products that he was selling. I'd probably have been more impressed had they been a woman's nails. On a guy, long clean white nails don't exactly advertise manliness!

Molly wanted to check out the sales at Hot Topic. The male cashier had quarter- sized gauges in his ears and his earlobes were flopping around every time he moved his head slightly. I saw several girls in the mall with facial piercings in odd places, like in the divot under their noses, and above their upper lips. I did not see any eyebrow or lip piercings that day, although I am sure there were some there! I can't be the only one who used to look at National Geographic and think that lip plates, and bones through the nose and big holes in the face were fascinating to look at, but definitely not desirable! All I can think of when I see this kind of thing is that one day they will be nursing home patients, and maybe instead of playing cards and shuffleboard, they'll compare tattoos and piercings. Maybe the nursing attendants will pull them around by hooking a finger through the holes in their ears. Bizarre.

Happy Easter!

The baskets are stuffed, the eggs are dyed, the kids are bathed and in bed, and the kitchen is cleaned up. Friends from Camp Lejeune came for dinner tonight. They are on their way to NY to visit family and friends before he deploys in May for 7 months. We know quite a few Marines who are currently deployed, or getting ready to deploy, or getting ready to come home. Such a crazy life we lead. God bless all the servicemembers who so willingly give up so much personal freedom in the name of protecting our nation and its freedoms.

We are going to Williamsburg next week. Hoping we'll get the full family free day pass to Busch Gardens again. We are trying to figure out how we're getting there, since the van is in the shop and won't be ready until Tuesday, at the earliest. We will probably rent a van, since our lodging reservations have already been made for Monday-Thursday, and Tim's leave time is rare and precious! I am looking forward to a nice week with the family.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Love and Marriage

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate 20 years of wedded bliss. Some days more blissful than others, to be sure, but I could not imagine sharing more than half my life with anyone else. The truth is, I love this man more as each day and each year passes. And I like him, too! He still makes me laugh, he still opens doors for me, he still treats me like I am the only woman he cares about. He takes care of me, he romances me, and he doesn't complain when things aren't perfect. We have a good thing together. I am a lucky lady!

Party Time....

Today we finally had the St Patrick's Day Party that we had postponed from the last two weekends. Molly had a kidney stone attack, and Mick's had hives, and after that, a stomach virus went through the house. I am happy to say that all are well currently, and the party was a success. I've been praying for good weather for three weeks now, and even though it has rained every day all week, the sun came out around 11:30, just in time to dry things up for the party at 1:00. God is good! We invited local friends that we went to college with. My roommate just recently moved back to VA from HI with her husband and their five boys. It was awesome seeing them. I hope that now that so many of us live relatively close to one another, we will be able to get together more often. It is hugely satisfying to spend time with other families who share the same beliefs, and it is also gratifying to witness the friendships our kids have developed. We are so blessed to know so many good people, and to call them our friends!

Looks like a jungle, smells like a zoo (not for the faint of heart!)

So in my quest to get this house company ready for our party on Saturday, I am vigorously cleaning and putting stuff away between the extra laundry and cleaning out bowls of vomit, and mopping, (floors and mouths). Kiley is indeed sick today, and everyone who was at Lowes at 10:10 this morning knows it! Colleen is also sick, I picked her up at school, and Timmy is not feeling well, either.

Anyhow, there was this lingering odor that I could not identify. I smelled it first on the couch - which is headed for the curb. We got it from friends of ours a few years ago, who were giving it away, and it has seen better days. It has certainly smelled better. Shane slept there the night before last. I walked past his room and the smell hit me again like a ton of bricks. Let me just say here that his and Mick's room is my favorite. It is also the only room that is 100% completely done the way I want it. It is a jungle theme, and is darn cute, if I do say so myself. Not because I have any particular artistic ability, but I used Tatouage (google it!) on all the walls. It is also the only room in the house that stays clean most of the time. I went in there to investigate and found myself picking up every object, and opening every drawer, and sniffing it all in an effort to identify the odor. I stripped their beds and washed the sheets, although the smell was not there. I looked in Mick's pajama drawer, and it was empty but for pajamas. All of their clothes in the drawers smelled fine. All of the stuffed animals (and there are many) were also fine. There were a few items on the floor that needed to go into the laundry, and I found the offending item - it was a pair of Shane's boxers. To the eye, there was no reason for their foulness, but let me tell you, they made my eyes water, and I was almost the next person to throw up. But moms don't have time to get sick. The boy usually chooses not to wear underwear at all. Guess I just got lucky. Yuck.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

You would not know that this boy threw up 5 times in the wee hours this morning, nor that he has diarreah. You can surmise that he is likely breathing sweet little sick germs into his baby sister's ear.

Yesterday, all my kids went back to school. Between stomach viruses, colds, respiratory infections, and allergy symptoms among the kids, and Molly's battle with kidney stones, I have had at least one child, and more than that most days, home for the past 3 weeks or so. Or maybe it's been just a week and half to two weeks. At any rate, I've been doing a lot of laundry, a lot of disinfecting, and making many trips to and from dr's offices, the hospital, and schools. It feels like forever. So when they all got off to school yesterday, I kicked my routine back into gear, did several loads of laundry, cleaned up the house, ate a healthy breakfast (but totally blew dinner), worked out, and generally felt pretty good. Around 10:15 last night, Shane wandered into our room and I could tell he wasn't awake. He was mumbling incoherently and then proceeded to vomit all over our floor. Tim got him settled on the living room couch with a pillow, towels, a blanket, and a bowl in case he couldn't make it to the bathroom. I cleaned our bedroom floor with my new steam cleaner. We had to reschedule our St Patrick's day party last week because of the weather, and the sick kids. I am so hoping and praying that Shane's episode will be isolated, since my brother Mark is coming to visit at the end of the week, and the party is this Saturday! Mick has had hives every day since around Valentine's day, and he had an appt this morning to have allergy testing. I am fairly certain they will discover he's allergic to dust and will have to go live with another family.........

Anyhow, I slept on the recliner in the living room so that I could be near Shane, and while I was not sleeping, I was trying to figure out a way to get Mick to his appt when Shane would obviously not be going to school today. Can the six year old stay home and babysit the 2 year old while I take the 5 year old to his long awaited Dr appt? Probably not. I called and was able to reschedule the allergy testing for this Thursday. Hope everyone is well!

Love is...

Love is spending 2 hours on a Sunday scraping wallpaper which you never felt needed to come down in the first place, when you would rather be relaxing and watching TV.

I am loved!

Are you smarter than an 11th Grader?

February - 20 degrees, 8am

Daughter gets into car for ride to school after having missed her bus, wearing a t-shirt, jeans and flip flops.

Mom: "Go get a jacket and proper shoes."

Daughter: "I'm not cold."

Mom: "It's 20 degrees out, go get a jacket and proper shoes."

Daughter comes back to car, throws jacket on floor at feet, "I can't find my shoes, besides, everyone wears flip flops."

Mom: "Put your jacket on." Gives up on shoes because 5 minutes means the difference between daughter walking into school herself, or mom bringing 3 sick kids into the school to sign her in.

Pulling up to school. Daughter says, "Can I take my jacket off now?"

Mom: "When you get inside where it is warm."

Daughter: " It's hot in all my classes, and I'll have to carry my jacket around with me all day!"

Mom: "Put it in your locker."

Daughter: "I don't have one."

Mom: "You don't have a locker?! Why don't you have a locker?!"

Daughter: "I don't need one."


Thus begins another delightful day of child rearing.........

Favorites...

Mick's sunny disposition first thing in the morning is one of my favorite things.

Finding poop in his pajama drawer is not.

Gotta start locking the bathroom door

Tim says this is child abuse. I promise she laughs when she sees this picture now. Hope that doesn't mean she'll be doing it again. Vaseline is not the easiest thing to clean up!

Be careful what you wish for....

As she was driving to two different schools this morning, to deliver the lunch her 7th grader left at home, and the glasses her 5th grader left behind, she thought to herself, "When I said I wish my kids could be more like me, this is NOT what I meant!"

Bathroom re-do

I decided to finally use the paint I bought on a mystery shop in October. I have painted my upstairs bathroom "Little Dipper". It was Avocado green. Little Dipper looks more like a butter mint to me. I also replaced the light fixture, and the new light, with the yellow paint, caused Shane to say, as he was passing by , "The light! It BURNS!" I think I like it. I am in no hurry to do it again! The general consensus is that it is very bright. Which is OK - I like bright. It's happy. It is definitely better than the green. As I was taking down the mirror in preparation to paint, I remember thinking to myself, "I bet there's a big hole in the wall behind this mirror". There was. And an odd shade of blue paint. I am currently soaking the cabinet hinges in paint remover, and can see that the bathroom was, at one time, two different shades of blue, as well as the green, and white. One of those shades of blue was my least favorite color in the whole world : country blue. Country blue and ducks. Remember that craze? Yuck.

The other morning, I went to Lowes for rollers and brushes, and realized I had left the house in sweatpants (not yoga pants like, "Hey I am on my way to or from the gym"), but my husband's sweatpants (no I did not paint in them...), and a t-shirt, and crocs with socks. What is happening to me? Has becoming a homeowner turned me into a frump who compares paint colors to food?

The importance of refrigeration...

We have an old refrigerator in our garage that we use primarily for milk and bread storage.

Our dog died last August. Tim was out of town when it happened, and told us to go ahead and bury her. Despite buying the heavy-duty shovel, neither Jack, Molly, Timmy nor I were able to dig a hole in the yard deep enough to bury her. We have lots of big rocks and roots in our soil. Who knew? Anyhow, since Tim was going to be home in just a couple of days, we wrapped her up in a soft blanket, bagged her, and I put her in the only box I could find, which happened to be a Bud Lite case. (Minus the Bud Lite) Then I put the box in the garage fridge so that she would not decay and/or be attacked by vermin before Tim got home. Katie used to be a big milk drinker. When she was home for Christmas break she told me that she is now unable to drink milk. When I asked her why, she said it's because I kept the dead dog in the milk fridge. So, if she gets osteoporosis, it will be my fault. Funny, it hasn't affected Tim's taste for beer one bit!

They all think that I killed the dog. I DID NOT! But that's a blog for another time.....

Footnote....

OK, so I decided last night to actually read the complete electrified worm science experiment instructions. Turns out you are not actually supposed to touch the worm with the exposed wires - you are supposed to touch the wet newspaper (so that's what it was for - silly me thought it was so the worm wouldn't dry out during the duration of the experiment). There goes my "No worms were injured during the course of this experiment" disclaimer. Poor wormy. I think his demise scared his buddies that were still in the dirt filled box in the fridge, because when we tried to get another one out to do the experiment the right way, they were all dead. Here's hoping the little market that sells bait is open despite the weather today..........

And for any teacher or better parent than I am, yes I know it's Timmy's experiment, not mine.

Science on a Snow Day

We got 2 and1/2 inches of snow today. Yes, I measured. My kids were very disgruntled last week when Camp Lejeune got lots, and we got none, especially since it didn't snow at all in the five years that we lived there, and now that we are further North, by rights we should have had snow before they did. Yet another lesson in the unfairness of life. When I got up to make Tim's lunch this morning at 4, he looked at me and said, "Your shirt's on backwards". He was not home yet last night when we all did the snowdance (minus the flushing of icecubes down the toilet, since we didn't have any, since I am the only one who EVER fills the icetrays, and I did not know we were out, because I hardly EVER use icecubes!) I asked him if it had snowed, and he turned the lights on in the backyard, and said it had not. So, imagine my surprise at being awakened just before 6am by a recorded phone message from Jack's school saying that school was canceled for the weather! Jack was at my door, in uniform, ready to wake me up when the call came. We watched the news and saw that Stafford schools were also closed, so I went back to bed! The kids were so excited to wake up and see the white stuff. I was excited that a snow day meant Timmy had two extra days to study for his civics and science exams that were supposed to be today (they have tomorrow off for a teacher workday). He also has a science fair project due on Thursday, and I welcomed the opportunity to help him finish that up, as well. He had other ideas, of course. Snow days are meant for snow activities! Especially snow days that you've waited for for 6 years!

I let him play till lunch time, and then sent him to the computer to type up and print his data for his science fair project on "Electrified Earthworm". You would have thought I had sent him to the electric chair. He chose this project from a book we have, Science Fair Project Ideas. He said he thought it sounded "interesting". I wished I had read more about it way back then, because I would have encouraged him to consider a project more worthy of his interests and abilities. This project involves attaching insulated wires to a D cell battery, and prodding an earthworm with the wires to see how his body reacts. Supposedly, the current gives the worm information about the conditions of his (hers, their?) environment. The project description claims that the current passing through will not harm the worm. I wonder how many post-experimental worms they interviewed? Anyhow, as I've said before, getting Timmy to sit and focus on any kind of work he is not enthralled with is like pulling teeth. And, can I just say that the thought of him enjoying this kind of experiment will be brought up at my next meeting with his counselor!

Colleen, Shane and Megan came home with science fair project forms last week. Colleen and Shane's participation is optional, but all three wanted to do projects, too. Colleen is growing crystals from epsom salt and water, and Shane is growing candy crystals from sugar (organic, brown, and white). We were able to get their projects set up this afternoon, and here's hoping something will grow before too long. Growing candy crystals would be right up Timmy's alley! In fact, I may have to hide Shane's experiment from Timmy so he isn't tempted to eat the project......

The New Year

So here we are, over a week into 2009. My New Balance Personal Trainer daily email still tells me that every day so far is "rest day!" in preparation for the half marathon. So, guess what I am doing? Resting. I see no reason to argue with the professionals who have developed my training program and who will guide me through. Do I really plan to run a marathon this year? It sounded really good a month ago. My dear husband thinks I am being unrealistic and worries that I may in some way injure myself irreparably thus affecting the quality of the remainder of my years. Perhaps he is right. He is often my voice of reason. I could consider this a personal challenge, but honestly, I am pretty sure he would love me if I did or didn't do it, and while he might be shocked if I actually followed through, too much shock is not good for the heart....

I did walk two miles last Monday, pushing Kiley in the stroller, only stopping for 20 minutes so she could play at the park. It felt good. I've done nothing active since. In fact, I'm feeling pretty darned lazy. Not proud of that fact, but I need some inspiration. Or a kick in the pants.....

I briefly entertained the notion of getting a puppy. Tim's cousin told me that a Great Pyrenese would be a good family dog, and I've done some research. There is a breeder South of here who has a litter due in the Spring. I called her, and she will be selling the puppies for $1000 each. I saw an ad in the local paper this week for Pyrenese puppies, 2 females, 8 weeks old, for $200 each. Kiley and I went to see them this morning. The mom and dad dogs were there, and they were a beautiful family. Apparently, it was a litter of 12, and these two puppies were the last ones left. The lady told me if she didn't sell them by Saturday, she'd be taking them to an auction on Sunday. We played with the puppies, and the lady answered all my questions. Then I went home to do a little more research, and realized that this breed of dog would mean a lot of work for me. Lots of hair, everywhere. Besides, I told Tim I wouldn't get a puppy till Mick and Kiley are fully housebroken! Our last dog was small, and very low maintenance. She was a great family dog. I think low maintenance is the way to go next time, too. So I will be keeping my eyes open, but I am in no hurry!

I do need to get myself into gear. My list of house projects is not getting any shorter, and, while I have managed to get all the Christmas stuff down and mostly put away, there is still general upkeep that needs to be done. Constantly. My get up and go got up and left. If you happen to stumble upon it, would you send it back in my direction? Please?