Perspective

We had lunch yesterday with some friends who just bought a beautiful, BIG new house.  When he saw the house, my 12 year old said, "Hey, no fair, how come they have a bigger house than us and they don't have as many kids as we do?!"  It truly is a beautiful home, in a very nice neighborhood, with a nice yard and a lot of nice features.  During our tour, all I could think was "Man, this is a lot of house to clean".  I suppose if you can afford a house that size, you can afford to have someone clean it, too!  Can you tell that housework is not my favorite thing?!  We had a nice afternoon, and as we got into the car to leave, my son said, "They are so rich!"

This is a child's perspective.  Our kids know that we have what we have because of what we can afford, or what we are willing to pay.  I can't speak for our friends - maybe they manage their money better than we do, or had more to start with, or whatever.  Everyone has different circumstances, and I try to teach our kids that you should be able to appreciate someone else's good fortune without being envious of it.  I don't think any of our kids are growing up with a sense of monetary or material entitlement.  They don't expect us to hand them keys to their own cars when they reach a certain age.  They know we will help pay for college if we can, but that they will have to pay for some or all of their college education and expenses themselves.  They don't get "pocket money" from us on any regular basis, but we will buy them ice cream when the ice cream truck comes along!  None of them are wearing rags or going without meals.  We take vacations when we can (although not expensive ones), and their needs and a lot of their wants are provided for.  But, we don't spoil them.  Presents are given on birthdays and Christmas - they don't get a new toy, or video game, whenever they want one unless they can buy it themselves.  I think we're raising them right - they aren't usually demanding or grumbly when their desires aren't immediately satisfied.  They get the satisfaction of saving for the things they really want, or the anticipation of waiting for the holidays.

But the perspective thing is funny - kids assume if you have a lot of "stuff" it means you are rich.  I will say we've gotten rid of a lot of "stuff" and most of it was junk!  They don't understand that people can have things without having the money to pay for them - that the economy and the housing market are in their current state because of people's desire to have bigger and better and more.  Easier access to credit, either in the form of credit cards, or mortgage lenders, has led so many people to buy things they can't afford to pay for.  And, it's easy to justify spending that way when you think your income is guaranteed, or that you can always refinance down the road. Sometimes, you think the satisfaction you'll  feel when you have what you want makes it worth the interest rates and extra fees you'll have to pay in the future.  But, more often than not, that satisfaction is fleeting.  Because, the credit card bills do come, sometimes just after that thing you had to have turns out to not be that great after all.  There will always be a better product, or a nicer house, or a car you like better than the one you have.  I wish I could say that we pay cash for everything, but we have our share of credit card bills.  I speak from experience.  But we did buy smart when we bought our home.  When we got back from our friends' house last night, I was walking up the stairs thinking "I like our 'small' home!"  It suits us.  Some would say "crowded", I say "cozy" (my husband might feel differently about that!).  There is not an inch of wasted space in this house.  There are no ginormous rooms that I have to buy furniture for.  I don't have to find art to fill empty wall spaces (in fact, we don't have all our stuff up).  No one gets lonely because they don't have someone to talk to at night.  I can comfortably go to sleep at night knowing where everyone is (because I can hear them through the air vents!), and three bathrooms are more than enough for me to clean! 

I am grateful for the friends we have who validate the way we live.  They, too, have 9 kids, stacked like cordwood into their own house.  They have more bare feet than square feet in their home, but there is no lack of love.  The kids are home schooled, and are all respectful and very smart.  Their faith and their attitudes are amazing. They are our inspiration! 

We love you guys!!!