Miss Alice

Ms Alice works in the nursery at the childcare center Kiley goes to.  She’s been there for 18 years, and so she has taken care of most of my kids at one time or another, during the three times we’ve been stationed here.  She is a wonderful, Southern black lady.  If you’ve ever been in the South, you probably know what I mean.  She is funny without trying to be funny.  She is in her early 60’s, but has recently lost 60lbs, partially due to having an abdominal tumor removed, and also with the help of Weight Watchers.  She looks about 20 years younger, and says she feels great.  Anyhow, we were talking last week about the WW plan, and she told me that she has been doing it on her own for a couple of months now.  She said she had a few weeks at a plateau – continuing to eat right, but not losing any weight.  She told me that she ran into a WW leader at Walmart and told her, “I ain’t doin’ nothin’ different, but I ain’t losin no weight!”.  Miss Alice told me that the leader’s response was, “Miss Alice, ain’t nothin’ wrong with you, you jist need to make a poop!”.  So, she “bought me some of them apple- cinnamon fiber wafers, and made me a poop, and, Miz Pahkah, danged if I didn’t lose 3 pounds!”   

 

The new catch phrase around here is, “Ain’t nothing wrong with you……..you jist need to make a poop!”   And we have a cabinet full of fiber wafers……

 

When I returned to pick Kiley up that same day, Miss Alice told me that Kiley didn’t want her bottle, and that she was pulling at Miss Alice’s shirt.  Miss Alice told me that she said to Kiley, “Princess, I cain’t help you none, Miss Alice is dry as a butter bean!”

 

I love me my Miss Alice………