Gossip

 

"There is so much that is good in the worst of us, and bad in the best of us, that it doesn't behoove any of us to talk about the rest of us."

 

This is a quote from Heartthrobs, an old book my mom gave to me, and the title is "Charity".  The author is unknown.

 

Gossip hurts.  Some people take way too much pleasure in knowing everyone else's business, and sharing it with anyone who will listen.  People forget that there are often more than two sides to a story.  Many people who gossip don't even have anything to do with the story - they are just bystanders with their own take on things. 

 

What is sad is when you see friendships ruined, or relationships torn apart.  Sometimes things go on for so long that the original point of contention has been long forgotten. All parties fuel their resentment with gossip from everyone else, often trying to validate their feelings.Relationships fall to the wayside. Often, only because people have been careless with their words. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, or if tomorrow will even come!  If people could only recognize their own and one another's weaknesses, and exchange pardon for being human, I think people would find that they aren't so alone, after all!

 

My mother-in-law was once describing to me a lady she knew.  She told me that this woman, "Never had an unkind word to say about anyone".  That is a great compliment.  If people are going to talk about me, that's what I want them to say!

 

I have often been accused of being "too nice".  I am proud that I am nice.  Yes, sometimes that means that I get taken advantage of - such as in the case of the un housebroken dogs staying here not once, but twice!  Now that my husband is home, that won't happen again.  Which isn't to say he isn't nice, but things are more balanced around here when he's home!!!  I do believe you cannot be too nice -too rich? too thin, yes- but not too nice. 

 

Table talk

We will be due for orders next summer.  Which means that after 5 years in this house, we will be moving once again.   This is the longest we've been in any home, and we've accumulated nearly 5 years of 11 people's stuff.  I am beginning to realize that it is a common phenomenon that when military members return from a deployment, they think that "if it doesn't fit in a sea bag, you don't need it".   I promised my husband that I will start pitching stuff each week, in preparation for our move - so that we don't end up in the next place with a lot of stuff we don't need or use.  It's a great plan.  I am almost ready to give away the box of size 7/8 jeans that have been in the attic since we moved in.  I have boxes of sewing stuff - patterns, fabric, notions, etc, that I never have time to use.  I love to sew!  We have orange life vests in the garage.  We don't own a boat.  So much of it is just plain junk.  Once the weather cools down a bit, I'll be able to get up into the garage and start pulling stuff out for Goodwill or the trash.

Our current issue involves tables.  In March I ordered a dining room set from Amishtables.com.  This table is 6 feet long, with 4 leaves, solid oak.  It is beautiful, but during shipment, the top was gouged.  The company said they wouldn't be able to repair it to like-new condition, so they ordered a new one to be built, which will be delivered today.  They won't send the old table back, so now we'll have two tables, both the same size.  I would like to keep the scratched one (the damage is in the middle, and can be covered up by a centerpiece), in the event that we might own a house one day, and have a breakfast room where we can put it up, without the leaves in it.  Then we can have the other table set up in our dining room.  Problem is, in this house, we have no place to put two tables.  I suggested that we don't assemble the new table, but store it under our bed till we move, but my husband thinks we should just sell the other one to someone (we have friends who have expressed interest).  This is one of those things that I don't want to look back on someday and say "We should have kept both tables".  But, practically speaking, it makes more sense to sell it someone who can use it, than to keep it "just in case".  He'll probably win this one.....

Boys and Girls

Things I wouldn't know if I didn't have boys and girls........

Barbie would rather hang out with GI Joe than with Ken

You can never have too many pony tail holders/hair clips, hairbrushes, or white socks

Boys are closer to their moms than girls are

Boys are more sensitive than girls

Girls are moody!

Boys cannot keep their hands off of each other

 

 

Parenthood is not a popularity contest....

So here I sit, on the first morning that my husband is back to work for a regular day.  Actully, his block leave period is supposed to start today, and he could officially be off from work and home every day for the next two weeks.  But, he just can't seem to stay away from the office.  I am trying not to take that personally!!!

Anyhow, the kids are in school, my preschooler will be home in an hour, and the baby is sleeping.  I've just rotated a load of laundry and put clothes away.  I should be on the treadmill or elliptical trainer.  But here I sit.  Avoiding exercise while contemplating life...

In the last two weeks, I have made the oldest girls responsible for their own laundry.  I should have done this a long time ago, since they are and have been fully capable of doing so for awhile now.  Alas, being capable of doing something, and actually doing it on a regular basis are two different things.  (See the exercise reference above)  I know my mom will read this and be amused, since their room, the floor strewn with cast-off clothing, looks a whole lot like mine did when I was a teenager.  I could go in there and probably get their stuff done in three loads, before they come home from school.  After all, I don't even have to lug laundry up and down the stairs like my mom still does.  I often struggle between being the "nice mom" who does as much as she can to make her kids' lives easier and more enjoyable, and the "mean mom" who teaches her kids responsibility by teaching them to do for themselves.  One of the reasons I have turned this over to them is that  it makes me crazy to find clothes that are still folded, or new clothes, with tags on, in with the dirty laundry.  I hate the thought of my daughters going to a tennis match, or to ROTC drill with dirty uniforms on.  But, apparently, that bothers me more than it does them!  They are still adjusting to this new responsibility.  And, I expect, waiting to see if I'll pick up the slack.  But, I must stand firm! 

My 15 year old got a new bike for her birthday.  I drove her to school at 6:30 almost every morning last year for ROTC.  Her previous bike had been run over because she left it in the driveway, after repeatedly being told not to do so.  School is a bit too far to walk to so early in the morning, but we resisted replacing her bike because she didn't take care of the other one.  Which meant I was driving her.  So, when she got her bike this year, I told her that she needed to start riding it to ROTC when the time came.  She started ROTC last week, and rode her bike once.  My husband drove her the other days, some because it was raining.  Today, (sunny, 60* this morning), she asked me to drive her, and I told her that we had an agreement and that she needed to honor it by riding her bike (I'd drive her in the rain, I'm not totally heartless!)  She got mad, and told me that she'd rather get in trouble for missing drill, and take the bus, than ride her bike.  She stalled for a few minutes (to see if I would change my mind), then took off on her bike.  My new mantra is :  "They may not like me now, but they'll thank me later". 

We'll see............

Daddy's Home!

                                              

My husband and his Marines got back at 9:30 yesterday morning.  Even though everyone I spoke to before said there was no way they would be here on base before 10:00, or ready to  go home before 11:00.  These things are notoriously "hurry up and wait" events.  He had told me that his plan was to get everyone released by 9 am.  He called me at 8:20 and said they were an hour away.  I barely had enough time to get myself ready and up to the cp before the buses arrived!  His welcome home banner said "Our Hero is Home", so I had to hang that before I left too!  He asked me why I didn't believe him when he said they'd be back so early.  I had to admit that I believed everyone else, and being that I am a procrastinator, I of course wanted to believe I had more time!  Next time I will take him at his word.  That's why he gets to be the boss...........I could certainly learn some efficiency lessons from him.

He has re-programmed all the radio stations in the van, and is at the barbershop with the boys.  All is right with our world!

 

 

 

Water water everywhere, and so much stuff to sink....

An ipod in a glass of water

A trophy - and a few other assorted items that were on Molly's desk - in the fishbowl

Shoes in the bathtub

Toothbrushes and toys in the toilet

A cell phone in the pool

This kid keeps me busy!  I took Mick to the Dr today for a cervical spine X-ray to determine if he has atlanto-axial instability, which can affect people with Down Syndrome.  I am hoping he does not have it, because I'd like him to start taking therapeutic horseback riding on Wednesdays, which will be his day off from school every week.  He would probably be happy if I just parked him in front of a mirror (or any reflective surface - the van's chrome bumper is another favorite).  He loves to shadow dance, and will dance to any music, including the ringer on my cell phone.  What a great kid.  Easily amused.  But, I've added "plumber" to my list of career wishes for my kids!  It would also be nice to have a Dr, an orthodontist, a priest or nun, and maybe a lawyer (hope we'll never need one!) in the bunch.  I can dream....

The Tooth Fairy......

I am the world's worst tooth-fairy.  I am pretty sure I've forgotten more teeth than I've remembered.  I have a special computer font I've picked out to write apologies from the tooth fairy.  Colleen lost a front tooth this morning.  She's been working on it since, in a moment of extreme affection, (!) Shane accidentally loosened it for her a couple of weeks ago.  Colleen was starting to think it would never come out, and I suggested that maybe it was waiting for Daddy to come home (less than a week!).  Anyhow, it came out this afternoon.  She has two different, special, pretty tooth fairy boxes.  Somewhere.  She put it in a blue shiny cardboard jewelry sized gift box that was left over from Christmas.  I asked her where she planned to put it in case "I need to draw the tooth fairy a map"  - the t.f.'s most common excuse for a no-show has been that she couldn't find the tooth .......(her excuse, not mine, I just plain forget.....).  Anyhow, she told me that she would put it on her dresser.  Then she brought it downstairs to show me how bloody it was.  We had a discussion about the size of the tooth fairy, and Colleen's conclusion was that she must be at least 5 inches tall or she wouldn't be able to carry quarters.  She cleaned the tooth off and put it back in the box and, I noticed that Colleen left the box on the side table in the living room.  After she'd been asleep for an hour, I went downstairs to retrieve the tooth and leave a deposit ( $1 in this house is the going rate - we've got a lot of teeth!).  The box WAS NOT THERE.  Nor was it on her dresser.  She and Megan share a full-sized loft bed, and I reached under the nearest pillow, hoping that Colleen hadn't chosen the wall-side, and that whoever's head was on that pillow would remain asleep.  Fortunately, the box was within reach, and I was able to pull it out.  However, the tooth fell out of the box and onto the floor.  Even though I couldn't find it, I can be almost certain that Colleen will step on it in the morning and her illusions will all be shattered.  Maybe I should start composing another tooth fairy note.....

As I mentioned, my husband will be home soon.  I told the kids that they got Labor Day off from school so they could help get the house ready for Daddy's homecoming.  They were all about making yellow ribbons, and signs.  Not so eager for the "labor" part of the day.  Around 11, Colleen said to me, "Mommy, I do NOT think Labor Day is for cleaning the house!".