My boy

This evening, Jack made dinner (he does this by choice at least once a week), and Megan cleaned the entire kitchen, while bopping to tunes on herIPOD . Amongst my kids, I have great workers, and some who avoid work like the plague. Timmy is taking a warm bath in the hot-tub downstairs, because he was literally bouncing off the walls and driving me crazy. He has started seeing a new counselor, who, after reviewing his history and his medical records, thinks signs point to temporal lobe ADHD , but because of his sensory integration and motor difficulties, are also suggestive of either brain injury as a result of traumatic birth, or head injury. Timmy was by far my fastest and easiest labor and delivery, I had a completely normal and healthy pregnancy with him and I nursed him for 12 months - the longest of all the kids. He did fall and hit his head in the bathtub when he was 4, and required 17 inside stitches and 7 outside stitches to close it up. I remembered this after we left his appt , so I emailed the counselor with that information. When I told him that we have family members with epilepsy and manic depression, he made a note of that, as well, and said that often ADHD and bi-polar symptoms are similar. He also said that kids who have the symptoms that Timmy is displaying seem to have a miss-firing of circuits in the brain, similar to epilepsy. He recommended that Timmy be off of his Concerta so that any testing the counselor does is a true reflection of Timmy's abilities, without medication. The test results from the two tests he conducted yesterday supported his predictions of how Timmy would do, based on the information the counselor had, and this counselor is going to consult with a colleague about Timmy's case. There is so much about all of this that is frustrating. Timmy is really struggling with school, and one of his teachers told me that he reminds her of her own son, who is bi-polar and is now 27 years old. When I told her that Timmy doesn't display manic symptoms, she said her son didn't either, until he was put on medication. I will say that the closest Timmy comes to mania is when he is off the concerta , so it makes me wonder. I have also read that bi-polar illness often presents itself at the onset of or during puberty. Timmy is almost 13. I almost don't care what his diagnosis is, (it is what it is) as long as there is a way to help him. It is heartbreaking to see him trudging down the driveway to the bus-stop, dragging his feet the whole way. The only thing that makes school at all bearable for him is his tech class, the Hershey's kiss he gets in his lunch every day :) and having something tangible to look forward to on the weekends. It kills me to see him so unhappy (clinically depressed, I'm sure), when I know that it takes so very little to make him happy - like a vacation from school, or a visit with a friend, or a new book to read, a package of Starburst, or a Lego model to build. But, at the same time, life is hard! I can't make everything easier for him, nor would it be wise to let him skate through the things that are difficult for him. He will be an adult someday, and he needs to learn to control his temper, deal with his frustrations, and strive to be the best he can be, even if he has to try harder than most. I don't know what his best is, though! His tech teacher reminded me that often adults will accuse kids of not doing their best, when they might well be. I do know that he needs help. I don't like the idea of medicating him, although I've seen the difference it can make. The counselor said that concerta is not the best med for him because of his sensory integration component. He has suggested a couple of other meds, but Timmy needs to see a Dr for a prescription. If he is going to try something different, I think Christmas vacation would be an ideal time to start a new med, so that it will be in his system by the time school starts up again in January. He has an appt with a pediatrician tomorrow who is supposedly well versed in ADHD (that's what the ad in the phone book says). I am curious to see what his assessment will be, and if it lines up with the counselor's opinions. The counselor told me that this particular Dr isn't the best, but he's all I've got for now. And, I don't know if he should start taking a new med until the counselor is through testing him. If he is bi-polar, I am thinking his med would be different than for ADHD. If he is clinically depressed, some ADHD meds can make that worse. Sigh. I have so many questions. His next appt with the counselor isn't until January 5th. I do know that Timmy isn't likely to be depressed during Christmas vacation, but that those symptoms will return when school starts again. Report cards come out the first week in February. I'd like Timmy to have a fighting chance at pulling his grades up by then. I just want my happy boy back. I miss him! Tim has a magnet on his jeep that says "Life is Tough, Pray Hard". I am praying hard.