We miss him!

If you have noticed that I've changed the size of my text, it isn't because I am feeling particularly creative, it is that I am finally admitting that my eyesight (and hearing, alas) are aging with me!  Last time I went to order new glasses, the lady asked me if I wanted bi-focals, and I was aghast, responding with, "I do NOT need bifocals, I am only 39!"  Now, I am noticing that things are becoming a little fuzzy up close.  I really need to make an appt and have my hearing, vision, and cholesterol checked.  Should probably go for a mammogram (what fun) as well, but not till I've stopped nursing!!!

It has recently become apparent just how different my life is from most of my friends.  Many of them have kids in high school, a spattering have kids in elementary, and just a few have new babies. I have all of the above, as well as 2 middle-schoolers, and a preschooler with special needs.  I can't say that I am unhappy with my lot in life - I always wanted a bunch of kids, and God has richly blessed us.  I have a lot in common with a lot of people - not because of the size of my family, but because I have at one time or another dealt with many of the same issues that many other people are going through.  I have had just about every pregnancy/birth experience there is.  I have done my share of emergency room visits, and my kids have had some excellent, and some not-so-good teachers.  There are issues at every age, and I think I've experienced more of them than most people I know.  None of this makes me a better parent, but it does give me some perspective on life.  Which isn't to say that I am particularly wise - because I am not.  Just experienced.  And, the fact that I have so much in common with so many, makes me not have that much in common with most.  Know what I mean?

I think that most people imagine that it is constant chaos in our house.  I can honestly say that is not true.  Between the hours of 9pm and 7am, it is very calm around here!  I sometimes envy my friends who have time to take walks with their spouses, or who can have uninterrupted conversations, or whose schedule does not revolve around who needs to be where, when.  I think this is most poignant to me right now because my husband is not here.  Life in the Parker house is crazy!  We have a loud house.  We have too much stuff (but we are working on purging).  I spend a lot of time in the car driving little people here and there.  My house is never perfectly tidy.  I spend a lot of time on the phone making doctors' appointments, and talking to our Key Volunteers (who are wonderful ladies) about issues that arise.  But, despite living with 9 other people, I do all of this alone.  My husband calls fairly regularly, but it isn't the same as having him here.  When one of the kids does something particularly charming (or particularly annoying), I cannot turn to him with a smile (or a grimace) and say "He/she gets that from my side of the family (or yours)".   The little things that make family life so memorable are the things that I am sad he is missing.  And while there will be many such occasions in the future, we can't get these experiences back. 

I know he is doing an important job in Iraq.  I believe he is an incredible Marine, and a good leader.  I support him with all that I am and all that I have.  And I hope that he understands how important he is to all of us.  Our 5 year old came to me tonight and was sad, saying he misses his daddy.  I printed out a recent picture that Tim sent to me from Iraq, and Shane taped it over his bed, and kissed it goodnight.  Our last line when we say bedtime prayers every night is, "Please keep Daddy safe and let him know we love him."  I hope that he is appreciated there as much as we miss him here.  And that, in the end, the dividends will be worth the separation.

Soon.  He will be home SOON!!!!!