Many Miles......

I just returned from taking my oldest girls (17 and 15) to camp.  We left here at 2:15 for what was supposed to be a 5 hour round-trip ride.   I had mapquested this trip a few weeks ago, and printed it out and put it into a folder, in page protectors, along with my itinerary for next weekend, when I pick the girls up, head to Durham for the night, and drop my 4 other campers off the next day.  In the same folder I had my hotel reservation information and all of the directions to and from the camp, the hotel, the airport from where I will be picking up a friend.  I was very proud of myself for being so organized.  Anyhow, we got only a little lost on the way there (mostly due to my second-guessing the MapQuest directions, more than once!), and were only a little late for check in, because at the first potty stop, we discovered that Shane had left the house with NO SHOES on and we had to stop at a Family Dollar and buy him flip flops (I can see my husband cringing reading this, but hey, they are cheap....).  After the girls unloaded their gear, the other kids and I left to eat dinner at a McDonald's.  I headed South on I95, once again thinking I knew better than MapQuest.  About 10 miles down the highway, we found a great McDonalds, with an outdoor playland so the kids could burn off some pent up energy.  At this point, I realized I should have gone North, and took the atlas and my folder into McDonald's with me to clarify things while the kids played.  Lucky me, Colleen noticed the sign on the playground saying "Parents can play, too!".  So, of course, they weren't happy till I climbed into the play structure and slid down the tube slide.  Laughing hysterically when my inner child escaped.  When the food came and I was able to regain my composure enough to eat with them.  Afterwards,  I managed to use the bathroom and change Mick's diaper, all while sharing the handicapped stall with him and Colleen and Shane (the openings under those bathroom doors are just too big!).  Everyone went potty, and we piled back into the van, when Jack discovered that Molly had forgotten the bag with  her bedding, extra sneakers, and bath towels.   No big deal, since we had to pass the camp since I had gone in the wrong direction to begin with.  So, we got back on I 95 and drove the 10 miles, and then I asked Jack to look up the directions for the remainder of the way to the camp, since it isn't right off of the highway.  This is when we discovered that my purple folder was still at McDonalds.  Argh.  So we turned around again and headed back there.  Meanwhile,  Kiley was crying and Timmy was directly behind me trying to give her a bottle and singing, "This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world..."  And, since those are the only words of the song that he knows, those are the only words he sings.  About 87 times.  We got to McDonalds, Jack retrieved the folder, which, fortunately was still there, and we met a guy in the parking lot who had a badly burned leg from being blind sided by a firework, and who can't work, and was asking for money for food.  We gave him some money and were back on I 95 heading North.  It was getting dark.  I wanted to be home by dark, and we were at least 3 hours from home.  If we don't get lost.   But, we did get lost, because Jack was trying to read the directions backwards, and it was confusing,  We were driving on roads with names like "Chicken Feet" and "Jessie Tart".  Hmmmnnnn.  I stopped at a gas station for gas and directions.  It's a darn good thing this camp is free considering all the gas it was taking to get there and back!  There were two signs on the gas station door.  One said "No Shirt, No Service".  Apparently, shoes are optional.  The other sign said, "No Profanity", and in parenthesesunderneath, "No cussin".  I figured that since I had a shirt on (and shoes, just in case) and have a pretty clean mouth, I was good to go if I wanted to git me some pork rinds and boilt p-nuts.  But, all I really needed were some decent directions.  The lady behind the register pointed me in the right (vague) direction, and after about another 45 minutes, we finally found our way back to the camp.  We pulled up, and there was no one in the office, although the lights were on (it is now 9:30 PM, and we dropped the girls off at 5:45).  But, we could hear kids screaming in the woods and that is when my other kids, who are attending the same camp next week, started getting a little nervous.  A lady came out from the woods and told me she works there.  She didn't have a chainsaw or a hockey mask, so I gave her Molly's stuff which she promised to give to Molly.  She explained to me that the kids are all dressed in dark clothes and wandering through the woods playing some sort of capture the flag-type thing.  So, would I please be extra careful driving back through the woods so I don't "squash anyone".  I would have considered getting a motel room and driving back in the morning, if I hadn't left our old, incontinent dog at home.  So, we got back on the road, heading in the right direction (more or less), and finally pulled up into the driveway at 12:15.  There was a cat meowing pitifully at our front door.  We don't own a cat.  We don't want a cat.  Jack wanted to "at least put it in the backyard so we can find its owners tomorrow" (which it is already....).  He gave it a piece of turkey breast, then tried to pick it up.  When it scratched him, he decided maybe it can find it's own owners.   Now I have put all the kids into bed, and Megan just showed up wanting to Nair her legs because, at 9, she has suddenly decided that, while she dresses in mostly boy-clothes,and acts like a tomboy, she doesn't want "boy legs".   They have their summer enrichment program in the morning, and Mick's bus picks him up at 7:30 am.  6 hours from now.  I am going to bed.........