Life in a Fishbowl...

I love living on a Marine Corps base. I have some great neighbors. But, we live in a fishbowl. With such a large family, it is not easy to always portray our lives as perfect. In fact, our imperfections are often glaringly obvious to all! No, my kids aren't angels (but they aren't devils or hellions, either!). No, my lawn is not perfectly manicured at all times, and yes, sometimes I go to the bus stop in my pajamas! Sometimes the kids will run into the front yard and dog-pile on one another, and inevitably, someone will get hurt and there will be tears and wailing. On occasion, you may be able to hear my two teenaged daughters engaged in a shouting match. My dog roams freely, even though she isn't supposed to, and I am sure she has pooped in another yard time and again. If we are aware of it, we are sure to pick it up, and wouldn't be at all offended if a neighbor called us on it. She likes to be outside with the kids. Always has. With the revolving door in this house, it is next to impossible to keep her inside, or leash her before she gets out, because she is quick. A child or two may talk with food in his or her mouth, or forget to use a napkin at dinner in the O'Club. There are often dishes in my sink, and my floors are not so clean that you could eat off of them! We are working on these things!

For the most part, I am comfortable here. Most people who know us seem to accept us, and our kids, and like in any military community, we all help each other out, whether that means picking up a gallon of milk at the commissary, getting kids off the bus, etc. My friends and neighbors were fabulous when Kiley was born. However, I am aware that there are those who have preconceived notions about large families. They couldn't imagine having so many children themselves, so they don't think anyone else should, either! And, that's OK. Until they make a point of telling us and everyone else, at every social gathering, that we are crazy to have so many kids, and God Forbid we should have any more! They always treat the subject like it's a big joke, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "Yes, well, too bad it's not up to you!" You can be sure that it is stressful to live around such people because, as I said before, keeping up the facade of perfection is HARD work. Ha. I don't think anyone ever thought we were perfect. But, I can tell you that when things are particularly difficult, or trying, or I am tired, or feeling overwhelmed, those are the LAST people I will confide in. I have no desire to be the topic of speculation and conversation at the next social gathering, or to fuel their negative opinions about us. Nor do I want to feel like I must constantly defend my choices (yes, I had a choice! I chose to be open to God's will) I learned a long time ago, that people will draw their own conclusions, sometimes regardless of what we say or do. Which brings me to a quote I often repeat to myself: "The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter." I am so incredibly grateful for the friends I have who accept us (all of us) the way we are. Who don't stand in judgement or feel the need to tell us what we are doing wrong, or act like they are in a huge hurry to get away from the noise and activity that is our life. I am glad that I have other friends who also have lots of kids, and with whom I can share many of the joys and struggles. I am especially glad that my own parents, who were 46 and 48, when I was born, gave me life and welcomed me into their already big family. They instilled in me an incredible faith in following God's plan for my life. And, of course, I am most thankful that I have a wonderful man who shares these ideals and who loves me despite my imperfections.