Something to think about.....

 

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, 'You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.' Then he thought, 'Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet.' When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, 'Here, you gave me too much change.' The driver, with a smile, replied, 'Aren't you the new preacher in town? I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday.' When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, 'Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter.' Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians and will put us to the test! Always be on guard and remember that you carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself 'Christian.' Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.

Life in a Fishbowl...

I love living on a Marine Corps base. I have some great neighbors. But, we live in a fishbowl. With such a large family, it is not easy to always portray our lives as perfect. In fact, our imperfections are often glaringly obvious to all! No, my kids aren't angels (but they aren't devils or hellions, either!). No, my lawn is not perfectly manicured at all times, and yes, sometimes I go to the bus stop in my pajamas! Sometimes the kids will run into the front yard and dog-pile on one another, and inevitably, someone will get hurt and there will be tears and wailing. On occasion, you may be able to hear my two teenaged daughters engaged in a shouting match. My dog roams freely, even though she isn't supposed to, and I am sure she has pooped in another yard time and again. If we are aware of it, we are sure to pick it up, and wouldn't be at all offended if a neighbor called us on it. She likes to be outside with the kids. Always has. With the revolving door in this house, it is next to impossible to keep her inside, or leash her before she gets out, because she is quick. A child or two may talk with food in his or her mouth, or forget to use a napkin at dinner in the O'Club. There are often dishes in my sink, and my floors are not so clean that you could eat off of them! We are working on these things!

For the most part, I am comfortable here. Most people who know us seem to accept us, and our kids, and like in any military community, we all help each other out, whether that means picking up a gallon of milk at the commissary, getting kids off the bus, etc. My friends and neighbors were fabulous when Kiley was born. However, I am aware that there are those who have preconceived notions about large families. They couldn't imagine having so many children themselves, so they don't think anyone else should, either! And, that's OK. Until they make a point of telling us and everyone else, at every social gathering, that we are crazy to have so many kids, and God Forbid we should have any more! They always treat the subject like it's a big joke, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "Yes, well, too bad it's not up to you!" You can be sure that it is stressful to live around such people because, as I said before, keeping up the facade of perfection is HARD work. Ha. I don't think anyone ever thought we were perfect. But, I can tell you that when things are particularly difficult, or trying, or I am tired, or feeling overwhelmed, those are the LAST people I will confide in. I have no desire to be the topic of speculation and conversation at the next social gathering, or to fuel their negative opinions about us. Nor do I want to feel like I must constantly defend my choices (yes, I had a choice! I chose to be open to God's will) I learned a long time ago, that people will draw their own conclusions, sometimes regardless of what we say or do. Which brings me to a quote I often repeat to myself: "The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter." I am so incredibly grateful for the friends I have who accept us (all of us) the way we are. Who don't stand in judgement or feel the need to tell us what we are doing wrong, or act like they are in a huge hurry to get away from the noise and activity that is our life. I am glad that I have other friends who also have lots of kids, and with whom I can share many of the joys and struggles. I am especially glad that my own parents, who were 46 and 48, when I was born, gave me life and welcomed me into their already big family. They instilled in me an incredible faith in following God's plan for my life. And, of course, I am most thankful that I have a wonderful man who shares these ideals and who loves me despite my imperfections.

Many Miles......

I just returned from taking my oldest girls (17 and 15) to camp.  We left here at 2:15 for what was supposed to be a 5 hour round-trip ride.   I had mapquested this trip a few weeks ago, and printed it out and put it into a folder, in page protectors, along with my itinerary for next weekend, when I pick the girls up, head to Durham for the night, and drop my 4 other campers off the next day.  In the same folder I had my hotel reservation information and all of the directions to and from the camp, the hotel, the airport from where I will be picking up a friend.  I was very proud of myself for being so organized.  Anyhow, we got only a little lost on the way there (mostly due to my second-guessing the MapQuest directions, more than once!), and were only a little late for check in, because at the first potty stop, we discovered that Shane had left the house with NO SHOES on and we had to stop at a Family Dollar and buy him flip flops (I can see my husband cringing reading this, but hey, they are cheap....).  After the girls unloaded their gear, the other kids and I left to eat dinner at a McDonald's.  I headed South on I95, once again thinking I knew better than MapQuest.  About 10 miles down the highway, we found a great McDonalds, with an outdoor playland so the kids could burn off some pent up energy.  At this point, I realized I should have gone North, and took the atlas and my folder into McDonald's with me to clarify things while the kids played.  Lucky me, Colleen noticed the sign on the playground saying "Parents can play, too!".  So, of course, they weren't happy till I climbed into the play structure and slid down the tube slide.  Laughing hysterically when my inner child escaped.  When the food came and I was able to regain my composure enough to eat with them.  Afterwards,  I managed to use the bathroom and change Mick's diaper, all while sharing the handicapped stall with him and Colleen and Shane (the openings under those bathroom doors are just too big!).  Everyone went potty, and we piled back into the van, when Jack discovered that Molly had forgotten the bag with  her bedding, extra sneakers, and bath towels.   No big deal, since we had to pass the camp since I had gone in the wrong direction to begin with.  So, we got back on I 95 and drove the 10 miles, and then I asked Jack to look up the directions for the remainder of the way to the camp, since it isn't right off of the highway.  This is when we discovered that my purple folder was still at McDonalds.  Argh.  So we turned around again and headed back there.  Meanwhile,  Kiley was crying and Timmy was directly behind me trying to give her a bottle and singing, "This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world..."  And, since those are the only words of the song that he knows, those are the only words he sings.  About 87 times.  We got to McDonalds, Jack retrieved the folder, which, fortunately was still there, and we met a guy in the parking lot who had a badly burned leg from being blind sided by a firework, and who can't work, and was asking for money for food.  We gave him some money and were back on I 95 heading North.  It was getting dark.  I wanted to be home by dark, and we were at least 3 hours from home.  If we don't get lost.   But, we did get lost, because Jack was trying to read the directions backwards, and it was confusing,  We were driving on roads with names like "Chicken Feet" and "Jessie Tart".  Hmmmnnnn.  I stopped at a gas station for gas and directions.  It's a darn good thing this camp is free considering all the gas it was taking to get there and back!  There were two signs on the gas station door.  One said "No Shirt, No Service".  Apparently, shoes are optional.  The other sign said, "No Profanity", and in parenthesesunderneath, "No cussin".  I figured that since I had a shirt on (and shoes, just in case) and have a pretty clean mouth, I was good to go if I wanted to git me some pork rinds and boilt p-nuts.  But, all I really needed were some decent directions.  The lady behind the register pointed me in the right (vague) direction, and after about another 45 minutes, we finally found our way back to the camp.  We pulled up, and there was no one in the office, although the lights were on (it is now 9:30 PM, and we dropped the girls off at 5:45).  But, we could hear kids screaming in the woods and that is when my other kids, who are attending the same camp next week, started getting a little nervous.  A lady came out from the woods and told me she works there.  She didn't have a chainsaw or a hockey mask, so I gave her Molly's stuff which she promised to give to Molly.  She explained to me that the kids are all dressed in dark clothes and wandering through the woods playing some sort of capture the flag-type thing.  So, would I please be extra careful driving back through the woods so I don't "squash anyone".  I would have considered getting a motel room and driving back in the morning, if I hadn't left our old, incontinent dog at home.  So, we got back on the road, heading in the right direction (more or less), and finally pulled up into the driveway at 12:15.  There was a cat meowing pitifully at our front door.  We don't own a cat.  We don't want a cat.  Jack wanted to "at least put it in the backyard so we can find its owners tomorrow" (which it is already....).  He gave it a piece of turkey breast, then tried to pick it up.  When it scratched him, he decided maybe it can find it's own owners.   Now I have put all the kids into bed, and Megan just showed up wanting to Nair her legs because, at 9, she has suddenly decided that, while she dresses in mostly boy-clothes,and acts like a tomboy, she doesn't want "boy legs".   They have their summer enrichment program in the morning, and Mick's bus picks him up at 7:30 am.  6 hours from now.  I am going to bed.........

We miss him!

If you have noticed that I've changed the size of my text, it isn't because I am feeling particularly creative, it is that I am finally admitting that my eyesight (and hearing, alas) are aging with me!  Last time I went to order new glasses, the lady asked me if I wanted bi-focals, and I was aghast, responding with, "I do NOT need bifocals, I am only 39!"  Now, I am noticing that things are becoming a little fuzzy up close.  I really need to make an appt and have my hearing, vision, and cholesterol checked.  Should probably go for a mammogram (what fun) as well, but not till I've stopped nursing!!!

It has recently become apparent just how different my life is from most of my friends.  Many of them have kids in high school, a spattering have kids in elementary, and just a few have new babies. I have all of the above, as well as 2 middle-schoolers, and a preschooler with special needs.  I can't say that I am unhappy with my lot in life - I always wanted a bunch of kids, and God has richly blessed us.  I have a lot in common with a lot of people - not because of the size of my family, but because I have at one time or another dealt with many of the same issues that many other people are going through.  I have had just about every pregnancy/birth experience there is.  I have done my share of emergency room visits, and my kids have had some excellent, and some not-so-good teachers.  There are issues at every age, and I think I've experienced more of them than most people I know.  None of this makes me a better parent, but it does give me some perspective on life.  Which isn't to say that I am particularly wise - because I am not.  Just experienced.  And, the fact that I have so much in common with so many, makes me not have that much in common with most.  Know what I mean?

I think that most people imagine that it is constant chaos in our house.  I can honestly say that is not true.  Between the hours of 9pm and 7am, it is very calm around here!  I sometimes envy my friends who have time to take walks with their spouses, or who can have uninterrupted conversations, or whose schedule does not revolve around who needs to be where, when.  I think this is most poignant to me right now because my husband is not here.  Life in the Parker house is crazy!  We have a loud house.  We have too much stuff (but we are working on purging).  I spend a lot of time in the car driving little people here and there.  My house is never perfectly tidy.  I spend a lot of time on the phone making doctors' appointments, and talking to our Key Volunteers (who are wonderful ladies) about issues that arise.  But, despite living with 9 other people, I do all of this alone.  My husband calls fairly regularly, but it isn't the same as having him here.  When one of the kids does something particularly charming (or particularly annoying), I cannot turn to him with a smile (or a grimace) and say "He/she gets that from my side of the family (or yours)".   The little things that make family life so memorable are the things that I am sad he is missing.  And while there will be many such occasions in the future, we can't get these experiences back. 

I know he is doing an important job in Iraq.  I believe he is an incredible Marine, and a good leader.  I support him with all that I am and all that I have.  And I hope that he understands how important he is to all of us.  Our 5 year old came to me tonight and was sad, saying he misses his daddy.  I printed out a recent picture that Tim sent to me from Iraq, and Shane taped it over his bed, and kissed it goodnight.  Our last line when we say bedtime prayers every night is, "Please keep Daddy safe and let him know we love him."  I hope that he is appreciated there as much as we miss him here.  And that, in the end, the dividends will be worth the separation.

Soon.  He will be home SOON!!!!!

Careers....

On the advice of a friend, I just submitted this to Reader's Digest - $300 could buy a lot of food for my "animals"!  Wish me luck............

 

I was sitting in a Dr's office waiting room this morning with my 11 year old son Timmy, who happens to be the fourth of our 9 children.  We were talking about what he would like to be when he grows up.  He said he wasn't sure yet.   I told him that his 5 year old brother has decided he wants to be a Daddy and a Zookeeper.  Timmy's response was, "Isn't that pretty much the same thing?"

Happy 4th!

68%

My husband is approximately 68% of the way through his deployment. For me, the time is passing quickly, but today I was thinking about some of the things that have transpired since he left.

Kiley was born. She will be 5 and 1/2 months old when he returns!

Mick learned how to open the front door, and despite a lock on the back gate, he has learned how to escape. We've added a bungee cord to the back gate, out of his reach, and another gate to the front door, which used to latch automatically, but doesn't anymore, and he gets out there, too. He usually goes from the back yard to the front door and rings the doorbell, and that is often how we know he got out. However, twice our neighbors brought him back because he went down to their houses. His guardian angel is working overtime, and I am not as comfortable as I used to be leaving him here with the older kids while I run errands. However, to be fair, I've been home most of the times he has gotten out. I am beginning to think having him wear a gps tracking system might not be such a bad idea.........Or putting an alarm on the doors (do you have any idea how many times the doors open in this house?!) Or installing an invisible fence and getting him a shock collar (just kidding....) I do realize how serious this could be, and it was one of the main reasons I wanted a house further from the main road. So far, he has stayed close to home.

My oldest daughter just completed her Junior year in high school. She is looking into joining Americorps after graduation. I think it would be good for her. One of her best friends happens to be a guy. He and she spent a lot of time together, and said they were going to get married just so that they could have each other's parents as in-laws. He would come here and hang out and watch movies, and play with the little kids (which I loved, and they loved).. The noise and chaos never seemed to bother him much, and he always asked if there was anything he could do for me. Once, he cleaned out my dryer vent and assembled the kids' teeter-totter. But, she always insisted that theirs was a platonic relationship. She says that high school romantic relationships are ridiculous, and full of drama, and has said she wants no part in all that. Well, he now has a girlfriend, who doesn't like my daughter (according to my daughter), and so she never sees him anymore. And she misses him. So do I. So does my 15 year old daughter. He is exactly the kind of young man I'd love to see any of my daughters marry some day. I remember the somewhat startling revelation that now when I see a young man, I think about what kind of match he might be for one of my girls. I think this started happening about the time I realized that there are many doctors younger than I am! Kind of creepy from the other side of the stirrups!

I will be so glad to have my husband home. I would never choose to be a single parent. There are so many things that happen within a family, that only a husband and wife can share in the same way. It must have to do with the whole combination of our genes which make these people we've created so incredibly wonderful, wildly impetuous, remarkably unique, and equally challenging. I am so ready to have him here in person to share the ride! And I miss the way he makes me laugh.............