Transitions

The kids have been in school for a week now.  Mick was supposed to start taking the bus this morning, but it never came, so I drove him in like I had all last week.  It will be here tomorrow, they say.  I was lying in the hammock this afternoon, waiting for the bus with Colleen, Shane and Megan to arrive.  The hammock is in the front yard, and other than the mosquitos, it is pleasant to swing there, between the trees.  I really like our house - I like our yard.  We've needed to mow only 3 times since we moved in, since the front lawn is mostly moss, with all the trees.  We are having to clean and vacuum the pool more frequently, since the acorns and leaves have started to fall in the back.  I am sure it will be beautiful when the leaves start changing colors.  More yard work, to be sure, but fall has always been my favorite season.  We'll be closing the pool in a week or so, although the kids have been swimming almost every day.  I am happy here.  Truly happy.  I just wish everyone else felt the same way.  Timmy came home and asked to check his email this afternoon.  When he discovered that his friend from NC still hasn't answered his many emails, he got all upset, and said he's worried about his friend, and wonders if they aren't friends anymore.  He had a rough start to 7th grade this year, although he did say things were a little better each day.  He hasn't made any friends yet, other than the son of our friends in Fredericksburg, who he does not get to see that often.  I have a meeting with his teachers and the school psych on Wednesday to discuss his performance so far this year.  I hope it goes well.  I have told him that we are all here (to include the school staff) to help him succeed, but that he has to ask for help if he needs it. 

My husband says he misses Camp Lejeune almost every day.  He has applied for a position with the Secretary of Defense, which, if he gets appointed, would likely mean much longer hours, and more work.  He doesn't feel as if he has enough work to do now, and he feels that this would be a more personally rewarding job.  I hope he will get it,  or something like it, if it would make him happier here. 

My oldest daughter and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart this evening, which has been a long time coming.  I so want these last few weeks before she leaves for Denver to be a peaceful, enjoyable time for her, and for us.   

My second daughter is getting grief from a girl from NC, who is basically trashing her to her face (via myspace) and behind her back at the high school.  Molly does not need this, has not asked for it, and is pretty disgusted with the whole thing.  I am glad she does not have to go to school with this girl, but she still hasn't found her "place" at her new high school.  She does have a new friend, a boy who lives 45 minutes from here.  We've met his aunt and uncle, who he lives with on their farm.  He is a nice enough kid - great with our kids, and they are a decent family.  I have tried to caution her about keeping things light, because I can tell that he really likes her a lot.  He has been a good friend to her, and that is what she needs right now.  Tom and I have had the Harry and Sally conversation about boys and girls being friends - Molly and I maintain that they can be, Tim takes Harry's side.  Either way, we are trying to keep the lines of communication open - Molly understands things best when you are direct and blunt.

Jack is enjoying his new school, and he has not had any trouble with the homework load so far, nor is he dragging his feet to go to school.  He gets off the bus with a smile on his face everyday and that alone is worth the tuition!

Megan, Shane and Colleen are fine with school, too, although they have a little more homework than they are used to.  Mick did come home on the bus today, and the driver told me he was a little shy with them.  I don't think he understands why he has to ride a different bus than his siblings (they go to a different school).  I am sure he will get used to it in time, but it made me a little sad that he might have been feeling nervous, or uncertain.  That is so not like him - the kid who waves to every passerby!  Good news is, he is doing well using the potty - for the most part!

I justwish I could somehow give my family the peace I feel with our new home, and this life.  I know that I probably have it the easiest - the changes for me have, for the most part, made my life easier (no more social or support obligations), and more fun (a house I can enjoy making our own).  I didn't have to switch schools, or jobs, and the friends I left behind are still in touch.  I am not embarking on any life-changing events and I don't have to worry about my career, or deal with the hassles of commuting.  I do, however, have 10 people I care deeply about, most of whom are struggling with this adjustment in one way or another. And, as a wife and a mother, their struggles are mine.  Their hurt is my hurt, and I wish I had the words or the wisdom to make it all better.

Go Sarah!

I am not a fan of politics.  Quite honestly, I find a lot of it boring, and I definitely do not like the mud-slinging that has played a big part in recent elections.  I am, however,  married to a man who LOVES politics enough to have pursued a degree in political science.  He watches all of the political commentators (and actually enjoys these shows!)  I am slightly dismayed when they are on at the same time as one of my new favorite shows on HGTV, so I resort to watching with him, or I find something else to do.  Until now.  When we first saw John McCain's announcement of his selection for VP running mate, and learned that his choice was a woman, and a mother of 5 children, the youngest with Down syndrome, I was very intrigued.  I will admit that, before hearing her speak, I was skeptical.  What kind of mother, especially a mother of a large family has time to devote to a second career of such magnitude?  Why would she want to spend so much time away from her family?  How can she justify it especially when she has a child with DS?  And then I heard her speak, first at the announcment of her position as VP candidate, and most recently, at the RNC last night broadcast on TV.  Watching her and listening to what she had to say actually gave me chills - good chills.  I felt like I could identify with her on a human level.  I never felt like this before, which may be why I have found most politicians boring.  We have a big family.  We have a son with DS.  We have teenagers.  My husband is an active duty Marine who did two tours in Iraq.  She admits her family is not perfect, and that they have challenges like every typical family.  She is neither in-your-face about her daughter's pregnancy, nor is she apologetic, only saying she and her husband are sad that their daughter will be forced to grow up faster than she would otherwise, but they are proud of her for choosing to let her baby live (how chilling, in a bad way, is that wording - I don't believe that is exactly how she said it). She says her daughter will keep the baby, and that she and her future husband have the Palin family's love and support.  Are they happy about the circumstances? Probably not.  Are they handling the situation with compassion and love?  Most definitely.   I doubt her son enlisted in the Army because his parents couldn't afford to pay for his college education.  I am sure his parents' examples of patriotism and sense of duty to country played some part in that decision.  And, she herself, after undergoing prenatal testing, discovered that her own baby would have "special challenges".  They knew he had DS (as we did with Mick) before he was born, and despite her career, despite what may have been an "easy" choice for many, they also chose to bring him into the world.  Having just said that, it is my conviction that if you truly believe every child is a gift from God, there is no "choice" involved - why would you turn down any gift?  It's an obvious thing - but I know there are those who see it differently.  She promises to advocate for families who have children with special needs.  You cannot know what that involves unless you are living it.  Anyhow, here is a woman who has strong convictions and lives by them.  How can you not admire that - even if you don't share those convictions? 

As far as sharing career and family - just because I don't feel that I could do both well, it does not mean that she could not.  She has the means to hire help (what mother wouldn't if she could?!) with the day to day stuff, and her children certainly appear to be happy and healthy and proud of their mom.  I love the way she talks about her husband, and you can tell that her job is a family affair.  She has a good head for business, as well as the like ability factor.  If she has a God-given gift in the ability to make a difference in thiscountry, and to make people think a little bit about what is right and moral and good, then she and John McCain, if elected, have the opportunity to bring about great change. Sarah is more than a mother, and more than a politician.  She somehow manages to be both, with grace and class, and without sacrificing her femininity.  She has it all.  And she has my vote!

The driveway.....

When we bought this house, there were two things that I was worried about, the pool and the driveway.  Our driveway slopes to the street.  Not nearly as treacherous a slope as some of the others in our neighborhood, but enough of an incline so that on moving day, the kids were taking turns getting inside wardrobe boxes and having rolling races down the driveway during the movers' lunch break (actually, come to think of it, the movers broke for lunch just after the races began - we are lucky we've never been sued!).  Those of you who have been to our house expressed concern that your own cars would roll.  We have friends who refuse to come all the way up the driveway, but park at the bottom.  Anyhow, after the elementary school open house last night, Katie, Megan and I pulled into our parking spot next to the garage (relatively flat), and a song came on the radio that they wanted to listen to.  I set the parking brake and told them to bring the keys in after the song was over.  Apparently, I neglected to put the van in park, because when Katie turned the van off, it started rolling backwards down the hill.  Kathy was in the passenger seat and tried to push the regular brake with her hands, but by the time the van stopped, it had rolled into the tree lined median between our's and our neighbor's house.  Fortunately, it missed the bigger trees, but plowed down several of the smaller ones, and the driver's side swing out mirror (I always hated those mirrors!) got caught on a bigger tree and was torn loose from the body of the door.  When Megan came running in to tell us about it, Tim looked out the window, saw the van and ran out the front door, then tripped and bashed his knee (which was already giving him problems).  He was able to get the van out and drive it back up the driveway, but we don't know if anything besides the door and the mirror were damaged.  A plastic panel on the underbody is hanging loose.  The door isn't badly dented, and it opens and closes just fine.  But the holes and the mirror will need to be repaired/replaced.  Guess what?  I just had the van inspected the day before......  Anyhow, I am shopping salvage yards to see if we can get a replacement door and mirror.  Maybe the door doesn't need to be replaced, but we need to take it somewhere and find out what the most cost effective (read, cheap) repair solution is.  Argh.  It never rains (actually, it's been raining for two days) but it pours......  Still and all, we were talking about it this morning, and it could have been so much worse - the car could have hit someone or rolled into the street and been hit by another car.  The damage could have been much more significant.  One of the kids could have been run over, but other than being a little shaken up, Katie and Megan are fine.  As much as Tim wants to believe that they were fooling around in the van and that is why it rolled, I am pretty sure it was my fault, and I am kicking myself.  How long have I been driving?  22 years?  I have to believe I have angels on my side.  Some would say that if that were true, these things wouldn't happen.  I think it's a wake-up call for me to pay more attention.  And, now we have firewood for our wood burning stove, right there in our driveway, just waiting to be cut to size!  And, maybe we can take the van to the auto hobby shop and learn something about auto body repair.  In the big scheme of things, this is pretty minor - could have been much more serious, but I am thanking those angels.......

Update

Today was Jack's first day of school.  He was accepted into Pope John Paul the Great Catholic High School, and we are very happy about this!  The principal is a Dominican nun, (my age) who wears a habit, and the staff seems wonderful.  During his interview, the dean of student activities, who is also the wrestling coach asked Jack if he would be interested in managing the wrestling team this year.   Jack said he would like to do this.  Of course, my husband would rather he wrestle on the team, and maybe he will, but it was nice of this man to offer the position to Jack, upon just meeting him.  He knew the background information about Jack's difficulties in middle school, and said that being part of the team would be a good way to fit in.  We were given some tuition assistance, for which we are certainly grateful.  But on top of our share of the tuition, we need to pay bus fees, we ordered uniforms, and we still have to order and pay for his books.  None of these things are inexpensive, but are worth the price, I am sure, as I do feel so good about this school - Katie says she wishes she could have gone to a school like PJPTG.  I do have to figure out the daily logistics, because I have to drop Jack off at our parish to be picked up for school, then get back home in time to see the others get on their buses.  7 kids in 5 different schools will definitely be a challenge!

I also took Molly to the orthodontist this afternoon.  She has been in braces for 4 years, and her treatment with the orthodontist in NC has been paid for for 2 years.  But, she still needs ongoing care, which means we have to pay the orthodontist here, since her orthodontic insurance allowance is used up.  The new payment plan for her treatment with the new orthodontist does not include wisdom teeth extraction or  the 2-3 dental implants she will need when she turns 18.  And, I have an appt for a consultation with this guy for Jack, who I am sure will need some orthodontics, too.  I need to get a REAL job!

My husband is still adjusting to his job.  His hours are long, and he comes home so tired.  I know he wouldn't mind the hours so much if he felt like he was doing something that mattered.  I suppose that is a common feeling among service members who have been to war - compared to dealing with life and death situations, and training for war, not a whole lot else seems all that important.  What is sad is that all he wants to do is relax when he gets home, and he can't seem to do that.  He did finish the garage this weekend, which was no small job.  He said he is going to try and take Thursday and Friday off - it would be good to have some down time.  We've had company nearly every weekend since we moved in, and it would be nice to have some family time.  Especially since the rest of the kids start school next week.

Our dog died a couple of weeks ago.  She was 15, blind, deaf, and incontinent.  Not to mention that she had a dog's version of a dowager's hump, and slipped on the stairs frequently.  She had lived a good life, she was the perfect dog for our family.  Surprisingly, the kids have not been asking for another dog.  I am not in a hurry to get another one - I don't really need something else to take care of.  But, we do miss her.

We managed to put the trampoline up a couple of weekends ago.  With the pool and the trampoline in the backyard, you would think my kids would never have to park themselves in front of the TV.  You would think............

"Mommy is a Spy!"

When we lived here 11 years ago, my neighbor's sister-in-law was a mystery shopper in this area.  I remember her talking about how she got her oil changed for free, and free meals, etc, in exchange for making customer service evaluations.  I looked into it shortly after we moved in, and have acquired a new hobby!  So far, I have audited a preschool/daycare center, and I have conducted several fast food shop evaluations.  I am hoping to branch out a bit, and find something that pays a little better (or reimburses more) and won't sabotage my healthier diet.  I have lost 20 lbs since April, and eating burgers and fries a few times a week surely isn't going to make it easy to maintain!  However, I have been using these fast food shops to take the kids out, one at a time for a "date with mom".  They enjoy it, and clamor to be next.  I have one tonight 15 minutes away, which I have to visit 30 minutes before closing time.  I won't be doing these later shops often.  I don't think they are worth the $, but I do look forward to having Molly along this evening.  I will be able to write off  any computer related expenses when we file for taxes this year.  I will also be responsible for my taxes as an independent contractor.  So I am saving everything.  I don't anticipate making buckets of money, but it would be nice to get discounts or reimbursed for goods and services I use anyhow.  And if I am wise and coordinate my errands with my assignments, I can write off the mileage.  I did find it amusing that the oil change assignment I saw was for all cars except Saturns and 15 passenger vans.  Guess what I drive?!  Good thing Tom changes the oil in our vehicles at the base hobby shop already!  I would love to be able to get lasix eye surgery - how cool would it be if I could get that reimbursed for evaluating the Dr and the eye care center?  I am keeping my eyes open! 

New Doctor

The military medical clinic on base at Quantico was full when we arrived, so the Tricare office gave us a list of local doctors who accept our insurance as full payment for services.  I found one pediatrician's name on this list, then saw his ad on the back of the parish bulletin, and looked him up in the phone book.  He is advertised as an expert in dealing with ADHD, and when I called the office, they also told me he has 6 patients with Down Syndrome.  I thought those were all good signs, so I switched all of the kids (even Katie, since they said he could see her till she's 21) to him, dropped off everyone's records and spent an hour there yesterday filling out registration paperwork, and had my first appt with him for Mick this afternoon.  It was basically just to introduce Mick to him, and to request referrals for Mick's annual audiology and ophthalmology exams, as well as speech therapy.  Mick's appt was at 3:45, but we weren't called back to a room until 5:00!!  The waiting room was crowded, and while there were plenty of toys to play with, some of the toys were pretty grimy.  You know I am not a clean freak by a long shot, but being they are for kids to play with in a Dr's waiting room, it would be good to know they've been cleaned and disinfected from time to time!  Luckily, Mick was exceptionally patient and well behaved the entire hour and 1/2, but by the time we met the Dr, he was getting hungry, and was not much in the mood to be poked and prodded by a stranger.  I asked the Dr to check his ears since he's been grinding his teeth a lot lately, which he does when he's tired, or stressed, or is trying to relieve fluid build-up in his ears.  I imagine he has some fluid build-up with all of the swimming he's been doing, and the last time he saw his doctor in Lejeune, he said one of his tubes was getting ready to fall out.  This doctor briefly attempted to look in Mick's ears, and all he said was that he had a lot of wax buildup, so he couldn't see much.  I doubt he saw anything, because I don't think he even got the scope far enough into either ear.  It usually takes a special scope to see Mick's ear canals.  And a little patience.  I am sure this doctor is a nice enough man, but he is definitely nothing special.  And, I don't even mind waiting past my appt time if I feel like the doctor is taking extra time with his patients.  That definitely wasn't the case here.  This doctor barely made eye contact with me, and didn't seem all that comfortable with Mick.  He was vague about the referrals I had requested (although I made sure the receptionist plugged them into the system)  Maybe he had just had a long day (the receptionist said they had double and triple appt bookings all day because they are trying to merge the old computer system with a new one).  I don't know.  In any case, I have physical appts for Katie, Molly, Jack, Shane and Megan set up with him.  Once these are done, if I don't have a better feel for him, I think I'll start looking for another pediatrician.  We were definitely spoiled in Camp Lejeune.  Of course, with as frequently as I went to the pediatric clinic with any number of kids in the past five years, the staff knew us pretty well.  I remember thinking before we moved that we'd have to break in a whole new town : new church, new schools, new teachers, new bus drivers, new neighbors, new dentist, new doctors.  It has begun......

Progress...

OK, so I've decided that I would rather paint a picture than a room.  The longer we live here, the more I notice the shortcuts the previous owners took in their home improvement efforts.  Nothing major, and nothing unfixable, but we did discover that they spray painted the refrigerator black to match the other appliances.  So now, any magnets we have up remove paint if they are moved, and the white shows through.  They didn't do a lot of surface prep before they painted walls, and there are several areas in several rooms where it looks like they painted directly over spackle, without sanding first.  There is paint on the hinges on the back door (3 different colors, in fact!).  Before I started painting myself, I was a bit disgruntled at finding these things, but now that I've started on the kitchen, I must admit that my results aren't a whole lot better so far!  I have sanded, and I did clean the walls before I started painting.  I ordered 2 quarts of flat ceiling paint  and 2 quarts of semi gloss in a different shade for my walls.  Even though I had read that if you are using 2 cans, you should mix them together to prevent paint shade variance, I of course knew better.  When I was 3/4's of the way done with the ceiling, I opened the other can that was supposed to be ceiling paint, only to discover that it was tinted more of the wall color.  I used every last drop of paint from the first can, and touched up a few areas with the second can, hoping it wouldn't be noticeable.  It is.  So now I will be painting the entire ceiling again!  Argh. 

Tim left today for CO Springs (ironic, isn't it, if you've read my prior posts about Kathy going to Denver and our hope we'd be stationed there?).  He will be heading up an exercise next year, and has the first meetings this week to start the planning process.  I hope he enjoys his week.  I would like to accomplish several things around here while he is gone (I am drinking coffee right now so I can work while the kids are sleeping).  I have purchased a tatouage jungle mural to put up in Shane and Mick's room and the little girls' room is going to have a tree house theme, which I still have to implement.  Besides finishing the  kitchen!  It would make him happy to return and see the garage in better shape than when he left, too, so I am going to have Jack assemble the shelving and maybe we'll actually be able to get two cars in there this winter!

We had lots of visitors this past week/weekend.  Friends stopped in on their way to NC from NY.  Colleen was happy to have a few hours to play with her friend.  I went to dinner Friday night with two old neighbors from 10 years ago - my realtor being one, and the other is a reserve USMC Col who was in town for drill.  She and her husband have 8 kids.  It was so much fun to catch up.  On Saturday, a friend of mine from high school came with his wife, her son, and their daughter, for dinner.  I hadn't seen him in 14 years and had never met his wife and kids.  Our other friends from Fredericksburg came for dinner, too, and the kids had fun night swimming while the grown ups visited.  It is so rewarding to keep in touch with old friends, and to see each other again after so much time.  I still sometimes have a hard time figuring out when exactly I became one of the grown-ups! 

Katie is currently in Falls Church, staying with her best friend from 2 years ago.  Her family just moved to the area from CA, and will be here for at least a year.  I am glad Katie is getting to spend time with them.  This family had a positive impact on her when we knew them in Camp Lejeune.  She texted me from the Smithsonian museum of Art in DC this afternoon.  I am glad she's having fun.  I've been worried that her summer has been a disappointment, and that she is just biding time till she moves in October.  I am sure she has lots of mixed emotions about a lot of things right now.  I wish she and I were closer and that she confided in me.  I am thankful she has a good friend here now that she can talk to.

I need to hear prayers and tuck kids in so I can get some work done!