Scam Alert!

 I recently posted a piece of furniture for sale on Craigslist. I received this email from someone who claimed to be interested:

 Subject: Re: Solid wood china hutch - $500 (<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 />Stafford) Date: Sep 20, 2008 3:10 PM

Hi, How are you doing? I got your information and Thanks so much for the info. The payment will be sent Asap. I'll be sending a check of $1565. Once you get the payment, take it to your Bank and have it cashed or deposited, this will take 2-3 business days. Once the check cashed,I will want you to deduct the payment for the Item,and Send the rest funds to the mover via Western Union or Money Gram in your location,coz the mover will be helping pick up other items around the city.Once the mover confirms the payment,the pick up of the Item will be done.I hope this work fine with you. I will be looking forward to hear from you Soon. Thanks

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I  received a check yesterday for the above listed amount in a FedEX envelope, with the return address of a sporting goods company in Wisconsin.  This same company's name and address was on the header of the check, and it was signed by what appears to be "Jinell A. Oyama" I strongly suspected this was a scam, and after reading about such scams on Craigslist, I emailed the "prospective buyer" and told him I am not interested in doing business with him.  I googled the sporting goods store (which does exist) and emailed to tell them about the check from their address.  They confirmed today that it is indeed a scam.  Dang. 

Anybody want to buy a china hutch?

On Being a Mom - By Anna Quindlan

A friend sent this to me today.  It is a wonderful read - and gives me hope, that while my oldest will be leaving home soon, I still have a chance to "stop and smell the roses".  My child rearing years are far from over.  And I'm glad. On Being A Mom  By Anna Quindlen All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past. Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete.Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all. Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too. Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language-mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking itup fromthe window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking? But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less. Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

My not-so-secret garden

We had friends over last Saturday, and we were eating out on the deck, when my friend pointed to this beautiful purple flower that was growing next to the deck stairs.  She said she was pretty sure that it is a poisonous plant.  I pulled it out by the roots and threw it away, then googled it the next day.  This is what I found:

Belladonna is one of the most toxic plants found in the Western hemisphere. All parts of the plant contain tropane alkaloids.[10] The berries pose the greatest danger to children because they look attractive and have a somewhat sweet taste.[9] The consumption of two to five berries by children and ten to twenty berries by adults can be lethal. The root of the plant is generally the most toxic part, though this can vary from one specimen to another. Ingestion of a single leaf of the plant can be fatal to an adult.[10]

The active agents in Belladonna, atropine, hyoscine (scopolamine), and hyoscyamine, have anticholinergic properties. The symptoms of belladonna poisoning include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, dry mouth and throat, slurred speech, urinary retention, constipation, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsions.[11][12] The plant's deadly symptoms are caused by atropine's disruption of the parasympathetic nervous system's ability to regulate non-volitional/subconscious activities such as sweating, breathing, and heart rate. The antidote for belladonna poisoning is physostigmine or pilocarpine, the same as for atropine.[13] Atropa belladonna is also toxic to many domestic animals, causing narcosis and paralysis.

Thank God Mary told me it was poisonous, because I thought it was just a really pretty plant (weed).  I have a black thumb, and cannot grow anything (except children!).  I don't really know the difference between plants and weeds, and were it up to me, the only flowers I'd have would be dandelions!   The previous owner of this home did some nice landscaping, and the mums are starting to bloom.  Not sure any of her hard work will survive my lack of skills in the garden.  Anyhow, after reading about this plant, Jake asked if I thought our dog may have eaten part of it which caused her death.  I really don't think so.  But, it was easily in reach of any of my kids, and I am so thankful they didn't try to eat the berries.  And to think I was worried about the holly bushes.  Come to find out, I may not have to worry after all.  With any luck, all of our holly bushes will turn out to be males:

Holly Plant Male and Female Differences

Male and female holly flowers grow on different plants. Although some plants may be tagged with their particular sex, this is rarely the case. Therefore, it is oftentimes up to you to determine the difference. This is not an easy task.(kind of like trying to determine the sex of a cat, or a turtle, or a goldfish, or a lizard)  It is nearly impossible to distinguish the male and female holly bush prior to blooming. (puberty?)

Generally, all females produce berries. Males do not. (sound familiar?) If you find a plant with berries, it’s usually safe to say that it is female. The best way to determine the sex of holly plants is by examining the flowers, which are located between the leaf and branch joint. Although the small clusters of creamy white flowers are similar in appearance, males have more prominent stamens than females.  (I'm sure they do....)

Who knew plants had gender?  You learn something new every day.

Stones

My 16 year old daughter has been having gastro-intestinal issues for some time.  She has verifiable acid reflux, and has been given medication for it.  She's been complaining of pain in her upper right ribcage area.  The Dr ordered an ultrasound of her gallbladder, but did not tell us she needed to have not eaten for 6 hours before the test.  When the tech tried to see her gallbladder, he said it was constricted because it was working on digesting her food.  He asked about her medical history, and I told him she had bladder surgery when she was 4, for vesicouteral reflux.  He moved the scope to scan her kidneys, and lo and behold, she has a kidney stone on each kidney.  He said they are very small, and she should be able to pass them easily if she ups her water intake.  Now, she is gloating because I've accused her of being a hypochondriac, and she has "real issues"!  She is apparently telling everyone she might need surgery (not true, at least for the kidney stones, but she does say she likes hospitals, go figure).   She is due for another gallbladder ultrasound on Thursday.  We shall see what happens.  She is too young to have medical issues!

7th grade

I met with Timmy's teachers and the school psychologist this afternoon.  I had requested this meeting early on so that we could discuss strategies to help Timmy succeed in 7th grade, since no one shared my opinion that he should repeat 6th grade.  His language arts/reading teacher sat right next to me and told me that she has over 100 students, and that she wasn't sure which one is Timmy.  She was the teacher I met at back to school night who I thought Timmy would like best.  During the meeting, she got up to retrieve her seating chart from his class so she could place his face.  I know it's just the second week of school, but geeze!  I am pretty sure that I would not admit to a parent that I knew in advance I would be meeting with, that I didn't know who her kid was!  Anyhow, the meeting went OK - I expressed my concerns about Timmy's adjustment, and his (un)preparedness for the more difficult grading scale; his civics teacher told me he got an 83% on his first quiz, which made me happy till she said 83%  is a C, not a B, as it would have been in Camp Lejeune.  I told all of the teachers that I would like to keep the lines of communication open - that Timmy's greatest "handicap" is disorganization, and that quite often, homework gets "lost" between his completion (I always check his planner for his assignments, and he has to show me the assignments when they are done) and turning it into the teacher.  I told them that I don't expect any of them to accept late work for full credit, but that I would appreciate notice well before report cards come out, if he is missing a lot of work, or doing poorly.  They all agreed to keep me posted, and to implement the accommodations he got last year.  He did not take his concerta this morning, and they all said that he was fine in class.  Although, behavior has not been an issue in school (as it is much more obvious when he hasn't had his medicine at home), but I would be interested to see if he can focus at school and retain information without the concerta, since I really don't like medicating him if he doesn't need it.  He doesn't like it either - says it impairs his imagination, which is his personal favorite thing about himself.  Anyhow, this was the homework scenario this evening:

Me:  Timmy, you have a spelling/vocab test tomorrow.  Where are your words so I can quiz you?

Timmy:  I wrote them in my planner.
Looking in his planner, I find the words listed under a section entitled "Books I Want to Read"

Of the 10 words he had, these are the ones he found difficult:

Binary - having 2 parts

Binomial - having two names (I had to look this one up - see previous post.  I don't think that was the definition they were looking for)

Duplex - "a type of battery" - um, no

Bipartisan, "having two parts" (makes sense to me!), but again, "no".

Duple-"like a big lego" nope

Spelling was another challenge, we should definitely have started reviewing before today.  Sigh.   

His civics homework was to gather political cartoons and/or articles to contribute to a group project on the election.  I can honestly say I could not have cared less about politics or government when I was his age.  Helping him to find cartoons that we both understood (or that I could explain to him), was truly a challenge.  Where is my husband when I need him?  Oh yeah, he's in Colorado again. 

Timmy's math spiral notebook already looks like he's had it all year (I just found it under the couch).  He truly is a delightful kid, and fun to be with.  But, he is a MESS!!!!

As frustrating as this all is, I can picture my husband reading this and laughing, because I tend to be a bit scattered myself.  He once told me that there are a lot of qualities I have that he finds endearing, but that is not one of them!  Timmy and I are quite a pair.......... 

 

Huh?

Binomial - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In elementary algebra, a binomial is a polynomial with two terms: the sum of two monomials. It is the simplest kind of polynomial except for a monomial. ...

No Greater Love

 I got this from a friend of ours today.  This man is the father of a guy we all went to college with.  The son we know is a priest in our diocese.  So very sad......

Published: September 8, 2008

Thomas S. Vander Woude's greatest passions were his Catholic faith and his family, one of his daughters-in-law said.

That love for his family led him to sacrifice his life to save his son's.

On Monday, the 66-year-old Nokesville man died while trying to rescue his 20-year-old son from drowning, Prince William County police reported Monday afternoon.

"I'll miss the joy that he brings and brought," Erin Vander Woude, 42, said of her father-in-law.

Around noon Monday, police say Thomas Vander Woude drowned in a septic tank on his property at the end of Hooker Lane after his youngest son fell in, said Officer Erika Hernandez, police spokeswoman.

He was transported to Prince William Hospital, where he was pronounced dead, Hernandez said.

Joseph Vander Woude, who has Down syndrome, was also taken to the hospital and was in intensive care as of Monday night, the family said.

"He still needs prayers," said Erin Vander Woude, standing on the front porch of her in-laws' house.

Police said the 20-year-old was outside cleaning the family's pool at the time, Hernandez said.

He walked into the yard and the lid on the septic tank apparently collapsed, police said.

The 66-year-old went to his son's help, pushing his way past his son into the tank and began to try to push him out, Hernandez said.

A man who was doing work at the house tried to help, holding Joseph Vander Woude up by his shirt, and yelled for the mother to call 911.

Fire and rescue workers arrived and pulled both men from the tank, Hernandez said. Police said that the father may have been under water for up to 20 minutes.

Thomas Vander Woude, who served as a pilot in Vietnam and later worked as an airline pilot, had seven sons with his wife of 43 years, family members said.

Erin Vander Woude said her father-in-law, known as Pa Pa to his 24 grandchildren, touched many lives, volunteering as a coach at Seton School in Manassas and through his work at Holy Trinity Catholic Church.

She described his as a "life well lived."

 

Transitions

The kids have been in school for a week now.  Mick was supposed to start taking the bus this morning, but it never came, so I drove him in like I had all last week.  It will be here tomorrow, they say.  I was lying in the hammock this afternoon, waiting for the bus with Colleen, Shane and Megan to arrive.  The hammock is in the front yard, and other than the mosquitos, it is pleasant to swing there, between the trees.  I really like our house - I like our yard.  We've needed to mow only 3 times since we moved in, since the front lawn is mostly moss, with all the trees.  We are having to clean and vacuum the pool more frequently, since the acorns and leaves have started to fall in the back.  I am sure it will be beautiful when the leaves start changing colors.  More yard work, to be sure, but fall has always been my favorite season.  We'll be closing the pool in a week or so, although the kids have been swimming almost every day.  I am happy here.  Truly happy.  I just wish everyone else felt the same way.  Timmy came home and asked to check his email this afternoon.  When he discovered that his friend from NC still hasn't answered his many emails, he got all upset, and said he's worried about his friend, and wonders if they aren't friends anymore.  He had a rough start to 7th grade this year, although he did say things were a little better each day.  He hasn't made any friends yet, other than the son of our friends in Fredericksburg, who he does not get to see that often.  I have a meeting with his teachers and the school psych on Wednesday to discuss his performance so far this year.  I hope it goes well.  I have told him that we are all here (to include the school staff) to help him succeed, but that he has to ask for help if he needs it. 

My husband says he misses Camp Lejeune almost every day.  He has applied for a position with the Secretary of Defense, which, if he gets appointed, would likely mean much longer hours, and more work.  He doesn't feel as if he has enough work to do now, and he feels that this would be a more personally rewarding job.  I hope he will get it,  or something like it, if it would make him happier here. 

My oldest daughter and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart this evening, which has been a long time coming.  I so want these last few weeks before she leaves for Denver to be a peaceful, enjoyable time for her, and for us.   

My second daughter is getting grief from a girl from NC, who is basically trashing her to her face (via myspace) and behind her back at the high school.  Molly does not need this, has not asked for it, and is pretty disgusted with the whole thing.  I am glad she does not have to go to school with this girl, but she still hasn't found her "place" at her new high school.  She does have a new friend, a boy who lives 45 minutes from here.  We've met his aunt and uncle, who he lives with on their farm.  He is a nice enough kid - great with our kids, and they are a decent family.  I have tried to caution her about keeping things light, because I can tell that he really likes her a lot.  He has been a good friend to her, and that is what she needs right now.  Tom and I have had the Harry and Sally conversation about boys and girls being friends - Molly and I maintain that they can be, Tim takes Harry's side.  Either way, we are trying to keep the lines of communication open - Molly understands things best when you are direct and blunt.

Jack is enjoying his new school, and he has not had any trouble with the homework load so far, nor is he dragging his feet to go to school.  He gets off the bus with a smile on his face everyday and that alone is worth the tuition!

Megan, Shane and Colleen are fine with school, too, although they have a little more homework than they are used to.  Mick did come home on the bus today, and the driver told me he was a little shy with them.  I don't think he understands why he has to ride a different bus than his siblings (they go to a different school).  I am sure he will get used to it in time, but it made me a little sad that he might have been feeling nervous, or uncertain.  That is so not like him - the kid who waves to every passerby!  Good news is, he is doing well using the potty - for the most part!

I justwish I could somehow give my family the peace I feel with our new home, and this life.  I know that I probably have it the easiest - the changes for me have, for the most part, made my life easier (no more social or support obligations), and more fun (a house I can enjoy making our own).  I didn't have to switch schools, or jobs, and the friends I left behind are still in touch.  I am not embarking on any life-changing events and I don't have to worry about my career, or deal with the hassles of commuting.  I do, however, have 10 people I care deeply about, most of whom are struggling with this adjustment in one way or another. And, as a wife and a mother, their struggles are mine.  Their hurt is my hurt, and I wish I had the words or the wisdom to make it all better.

Go Sarah!

I am not a fan of politics.  Quite honestly, I find a lot of it boring, and I definitely do not like the mud-slinging that has played a big part in recent elections.  I am, however,  married to a man who LOVES politics enough to have pursued a degree in political science.  He watches all of the political commentators (and actually enjoys these shows!)  I am slightly dismayed when they are on at the same time as one of my new favorite shows on HGTV, so I resort to watching with him, or I find something else to do.  Until now.  When we first saw John McCain's announcement of his selection for VP running mate, and learned that his choice was a woman, and a mother of 5 children, the youngest with Down syndrome, I was very intrigued.  I will admit that, before hearing her speak, I was skeptical.  What kind of mother, especially a mother of a large family has time to devote to a second career of such magnitude?  Why would she want to spend so much time away from her family?  How can she justify it especially when she has a child with DS?  And then I heard her speak, first at the announcment of her position as VP candidate, and most recently, at the RNC last night broadcast on TV.  Watching her and listening to what she had to say actually gave me chills - good chills.  I felt like I could identify with her on a human level.  I never felt like this before, which may be why I have found most politicians boring.  We have a big family.  We have a son with DS.  We have teenagers.  My husband is an active duty Marine who did two tours in Iraq.  She admits her family is not perfect, and that they have challenges like every typical family.  She is neither in-your-face about her daughter's pregnancy, nor is she apologetic, only saying she and her husband are sad that their daughter will be forced to grow up faster than she would otherwise, but they are proud of her for choosing to let her baby live (how chilling, in a bad way, is that wording - I don't believe that is exactly how she said it). She says her daughter will keep the baby, and that she and her future husband have the Palin family's love and support.  Are they happy about the circumstances? Probably not.  Are they handling the situation with compassion and love?  Most definitely.   I doubt her son enlisted in the Army because his parents couldn't afford to pay for his college education.  I am sure his parents' examples of patriotism and sense of duty to country played some part in that decision.  And, she herself, after undergoing prenatal testing, discovered that her own baby would have "special challenges".  They knew he had DS (as we did with Mick) before he was born, and despite her career, despite what may have been an "easy" choice for many, they also chose to bring him into the world.  Having just said that, it is my conviction that if you truly believe every child is a gift from God, there is no "choice" involved - why would you turn down any gift?  It's an obvious thing - but I know there are those who see it differently.  She promises to advocate for families who have children with special needs.  You cannot know what that involves unless you are living it.  Anyhow, here is a woman who has strong convictions and lives by them.  How can you not admire that - even if you don't share those convictions? 

As far as sharing career and family - just because I don't feel that I could do both well, it does not mean that she could not.  She has the means to hire help (what mother wouldn't if she could?!) with the day to day stuff, and her children certainly appear to be happy and healthy and proud of their mom.  I love the way she talks about her husband, and you can tell that her job is a family affair.  She has a good head for business, as well as the like ability factor.  If she has a God-given gift in the ability to make a difference in thiscountry, and to make people think a little bit about what is right and moral and good, then she and John McCain, if elected, have the opportunity to bring about great change. Sarah is more than a mother, and more than a politician.  She somehow manages to be both, with grace and class, and without sacrificing her femininity.  She has it all.  And she has my vote!