Home improvement and family

My brother has been visiting for the past week, and he left at 3:30 am today.  While he was here, he entertained my kids and put a hole in my kitchen wall!  A good hole - an opening between my kitchen and dining room.  This was a project I thought I'd undertake myself in the future, when the house was completely unpacked (we're mostly there!).  But I told him my ideas, and the next thing I knew, he had drawn an outline on both sides of the wall, and the next day, the drywall was off and he had started with the wiring.  I think finding wires surprised him a little, and I know if I had been doing this myself, that was the point where I'd be quitting and calling someone to help.  Probably someone whom I'd have to pay a small fortune to finish the job.  But he did what was necessary, and now I have the opening I wanted, and all that is left for me to do is paint the trim and decide what color to paint the kitchen!  We've narrowed it down to a light gray or a light khaki-color.  I like gray, Tim likes khaki.  Neither would be a color I'd normally chose, but it has to blend with the granite and the flooring, and both are better than the orangish color the walls are now!  I am so excited!  We have friends coming in this weekend, so that is the push I need to get it done.

This same brother has no children.  I was amazed at his wisdom, insight, and patience with my kids.  I sometimes fear that people who are not used to our family will run from our house screaming (not literally) because of the noise, the chaos, and the constant activity.  I am certain there are moments when he thought to himself "we wouldn't have gotten away with that when we were growing up."  My parents were pretty strict - less so with me than with him because they had relaxed some by the time I came along.  But, he did remind me how many rules there were in our house.  I know I am sometimes too easy on my kids, and that I don't expect as much from them as I should.  They could and should do more around the house.  They should definitely be better at cleaning up after themselves.  Now that we own a home, there are more chores to distribute, including yard work and pool care. They help under duress, but there is always room for improvement in action, but most especially in attitude.  I love the idea of big families owning farms, where everyone shares the duties of keeping it running.  I don't think we will be going into farming anytime soon. 

Katie and Molly have been in NY with Tim's sister's family since Thursday.  When we made their reservations, we expected they would both have jobs here, so they were supposed to return yesterday.  They asked to extend their visit till this Thursday, so that is when they will be coming back.  It sounds like they are having a great time with the in-laws, and I am glad they have this opportunity to spend time with them.  With our family having grown the way it has, it is next to impossible for us to all pack into the car and spend a week with anyone.  My dad always used to say "fish and house guests stink after 3 days"  (I just recently learned that this is a quote from someone famous, but I will always attribute it to my dad...).  Well, 11 people can get especially stinky!  This was not true in the case of my brother's visit, and I do hope my girls aren't wearing out their welcome.  I look forward to seeing the pictures from their visit when they return.  I miss them!

A Revelation

On many occasions recently in dealing with our teenaged daughters, my husband and I have found ourselves deferring the handling of one to each other.   He gets along better with our oldest; I get along better with our second daughter.  It just so happens that Katie (18) resembles his side of the family, and people say Molly (16) looks just like me.  After an incident involving them both this evening, and my once again telling him to deal with “his” daughter, and him coming back afterwards telling me what “my” daughter’s part in the whole thing was, it occurred to me that the things I admire the most in our Molly are traits she shares with my husband.  She is fiercely loyal to her friends.  She has a great sense of justice.  She is focused and driven – when she sees something that needs to be done, she will usually tackle it without being asked, and do it till it is done.  A case in point was her doing laundry all day today – not a usual chore of hers.    But she has a quick temper.  The things that drive me crazy about  Katie are the faults I recognize in myself.  I tend to lack focus – to start something and have difficulty completing it.  I can be lazy, and pretty laid back, which can be good sometimes, (the laid back part!) but isn’t tremendously useful when it comes to getting the house unpacked!  Katie  is also extremely friendly and outgoing.  She tends to have a pretty sunny outlook on life.  She likes everyone but her sister, it seems.  And the feeling is pretty much mutual.  They are going to see the Warped Tour on Long Island in a couple of weeks.  My sister-in-law bought their tickets, and will be responsible for making sure they don’t kill each other over the weekend.  Sorry Susy! 

My friend whose’ children are mostly grown assures me this stage won’t last.  I look forward to it being over……………

Back Online!

Well, we made it!  Tim, Jack and Timmy came down here in time to close on the house and get the pool fence installed before I got here with the rest of the kids.  We managed to get out of our house in Camp Lejeune in a fairly timely manner (for me), without too many headaches or hassles with the packers, movers and housing.  I was very blessed to have a friend from church bring not one, but two loads of miscellaneous stuff in his trailer up to our house here before we got out of Lejeune.  The trampoline was one of the items, and it would surely have brought us over our weight allowance with TMO had we sent it with our main shipment.  The rest was either stuff they forgot to pack or wouldn't pack (cleaning supplies, paint, etc).  Thank God for Joe - one of those rare people who offers to help and means it!  He drove up and back two days in a row with all this junk. 

I have begun the school registration process.  Mike will be evaluated by a team of special ed providers to see which school he will attend.  I have a feeling he won't be going to the same school with Colleen, Shane and Megan, and I am not too happy about that, but I do want him to be in the environment that can best support his needs.  We joined Saint William of York parish and have been attending mass there.  Katie and Molly attended that school from 1996-1998.  The school is great, but the tuition for 3 of them would be almost $8000 for the year, and they don't have services for Mick or Timmy there.  The church is nice, but Megan is disappointed that they don't allow girls to serve on the altar.  This wouldn't be a big deal to me, except that it is something she really enjoyed and was so proud when she was promoted to "cross bearer" at our last parish.  The pews are small, and we barely fit (which isn't too different than in most parishes!)  The parish is solid, and strongly pro-life, pro-family.

Tim and I went to visit the director of admissions at John Paul the Great High school.  We are very impressed with all that we've read about the school and its curriculum and we would love for Jack to be able to go there.  We have applied to the school as well as for tuition assistance, since the yearly tuition is $8700, plus an additional $2000 for bus transportation. One of the Arlington bishops is quoted as saying "No student will be denied admission to John Paul the Great due to lack of ability to pay".  I hope that is true!  We do not have a clear idea yet of what our monthly expenses will be, but we already know that $10,000. per year is beyond our reach.  It is a leap of faith to say that if he is admitted, we will find a way to pay for his education.  I am clinging to this hope, because I truly in my heart feel that this is the place he should go. 

The pool has been nice to have, once Tim figured out the proper mix of chemicals, and was able to change the water from a lovely shade of green (algae) to clear!  The fence keeps Mick out, but he can clear the five foot height with his incredible pitching arm, so we are frequently finding items at the bottom of the pool.  Most notably, his talking Spongebob, who apparently fares better under the sea than in the pool.  He no longer has a voice..........

Our next door neighbors are from 2 towns away from Tim's parents.  They have lived in their house for 19 years, but talking to her is just like talking to my sister-in-law.  They have a 14 year old girl and 10 year old boy/girl twins, who come over nearly every day to swim.  Nice people.  I also spoke with Mrs Santa Claus on the phone, who welcomed us to the neighborhood and offered some information about local resources for Mike.  She also does drop-in daycare, which is good to know.

Shane's favorite discovery since moving in was the Harry Potter room under the stairs. He slept in there the first two nights, claiming it as his own.  Alas, as the boxes were unpacked, the closet filled up, and it is no longer a suitable place for sleeping.  It does remain a favorite hiding place for games of  hide and seek, though.

I like our house and our neighborhood.  I realized the other night that the main floor of this house is very similar to the house I grew up in.  I wonder if that is what attracted it to me in the first place!  I have projects in mind that I'd like to do.  There is wallpaper I plan to remove and I definitely want to paint.  I do have to figure out what to do about the wallpaper that is painted over in our bedroom.  But, I am sure that our bedroom will be last on the list of projects.  Molly has already painted her room in her own unique style.  It's the one thing that has made her smile since we moved in.  This has definitely not been an easy move for her.  Or Katie, who spends most days sleeping.  They have both put applications in at several local stores/restaurants and I hope they both get jobs soon!  I think meeting other kids their ages will help a lot.  I did learn that St William of York's CYO program is on hold because they are looking for a youth minister to run it next year.  The program has a good reputation, and I am not about to jump in and offer to run it, as I don't think I have the time or the ability to do it justice.  But, I am praying fervently that a person better qualified than I am will step forward, since I would really like Molly and Jack to be able to participate.  I do realize how selfish this sounds on my part, and I should be more willing to help.  Maybe after we get settled a bit.....

Off to make lunch!